4 ways to de-stress your life
We all know what it’s like to feel stressed. It happens when everything gets too much and we feel overloaded and overburdened. And when we start feeling this way we start to doubt whether we can cope with the amount of pressure being placed upon us.
Stress is the body’s natural reaction to pressure. Some of us experience physical effects, like a rise in body temperature, a churning stomach, sweaty palms and a dry mouth, others experience emotional effects, like worry, sadness or anxiety, and others are affected mentally, losing concentration and focus. All are normal and let you know us that our bodies are working exactly as they should be.
Sometimes a little bit of stress (what experts call acute stress) that you feel “in the moment” can be good. It’s a kind of fight or flight response that you have when you give a presentation, give your best performance in sport, or meet a deadline. This type of ‘stress’ is defined by the fact that it’s immediate and short term. In most cases, once the cause of your stress has been removed, your body and mind return to a normal state.
Chronic stress however, is entirely different, and it can be detrimental to your health. This type of stress is the kind that you experience every day with no reprieve because there’s no escape from the things that are making you feel stressed.
Whatever the cause of your stress, The Mayo Clinic suggests using ‘The Four As’ to help you deal with it in a healthy way…
1. AVOID
Of course it’s not always possible to avoid the situations, people or circumstances that stress you out, but planning ahead and being more pro-active can help.
For instance, if you’re stressed with work because there’s too much to do, take a look at your plan for the day and ask yourself if you really have to get everything on the list done today? Some things really can wait. Prioritise your jobs and work through them one by one. Can you request more time to complete that project? Can you do that niggling little job now and then cross it off your to-do list? Remember to give yourself time to breathe. And remember it’s ok to say ‘no’ when you have more than enough to do already. Avoid taking on more than you can handle.
Or, if it’s a colleague, a friend or a family member that’s causing you stress then do whatever you can, in the nicest way, to put some space between you. It could help to change your environment, for example, move desks at work, or go on a yoga retreat to get some clarity about how to deal with the situation. Or perhaps find a neutral space and have an open and honest conversation to let them know exactly how you feel.
2. ALTER
This approach is about taking the situation that’s causing you stress and looking for a way to change it to make it more pleasant. The key to altering stressful circumstances is good communication – that’s communication with yourself and others.
Ask yourself, what’s the real cause of your stress? Perhaps you love your job but loathe the long commute. By thinking of ways to make the journey enjoyable you can make the situation work to your advantage and spend more time doing what you love. For example, if you drive to work, you could get some audio books to listen to. If you get the train you could do that e-course, write that novel, plan your next big adventure! Before you know it your journey will become something you look forward to.
Expert communicators encourage the use of “I” statements when interacting with others. When you say “I feel frustrated” or “I feel upset” and explain why in a warm and clear way people can understand where you’re coming from. It may even motivate them to think about ways to help change the situation. Of course, if you are asking someone to change the way they behave towards you, you must be willing to do the same in return.
There are some situations that we are just powerless to change. In these instances we must learn to accept what is and make the best of it. For example, if you’re stressed because you did or said something that it’s impossible to take back, all you can do is apologise, learn from it and try and move on.
Perhaps you’re going through a testing time in your personal life. Know that anger is a form of stress. Relieve some of it by acknowledging and forgiving the source. It can be very tricky at first, but like anything, it will get easier with practice.
Acknowledging and then letting go of emotional baggage is the key to moving forward in a positive frame of mind. Often just talking to someone who understands is all it takes to start the healing process. Having coffee with a friend, nipping round to your mum’s for a chat, speaking to a close colleague or manager or a counsellor – anyone who’s a good listener – can lighten the load.
4. ADAPT
If you can’t change the situation, you can always work on changing how you feel about it. It might be that you are just too hard on yourself. Are you putting unnecessary pressure on yourself? The house doesn’t have to be immaculate at all times, not every meal you cook has to be lovingly prepared from scratch, not every task you do has to be perfect. Cut yourself some slack and you will instantly reduce your stress levels.
Be aware of your thoughts and whenever you start criticising yourself or thinking negatively stop yourself. Brooding over stressful situations only adds fuel to the fire so try to let it go or give it a positive spin. Try to think about stress differently and get some perspective. If something won’t matter in five or ten years, does it really matter now?
What are some of your most successful ways of dealing with stress and stressful situations? We’d love you to share them in the comments below.
This post was written by Emily Hunter, SEM Strategist and Outreach Supervisor at The Marketing Zen Group & Samahita Retreat. Follow her on Twitter at @Emily2Zen.
