I appreciate that the majority of you who read this blog are female. I just hope by sharing a few thoughts and experiences with you I can provide a little insight to the male perspective. This may surprise you but we are not always the most vocal or the best at communicating. That hasn’t been our role! But trust me, we certainly have our own personal insecurities and issues. I am sure this is true of the men in your life as well.
Change! This month’s theme is certainly a very fitting topic for me to begin my blog adventure with you. I guess that this blog is a change in itself.
To ‘love to change’ though is certainly a strange concept at the off-set, as most changes are inevitably difficult at first. That said just because it is difficult does not mean that we should not embrace change. We all just need to find the courage to do so.
“Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are.” – Bryant H. McGill
I have made some huge decisions in the past two years. All of which have dictated big changes in my life. Basically because it needed to change and change it certainly has!
I must stress that there was nothing particularly wrong with my life before. In fact if I’m honest my life has been pretty good. I have great family and friends, I have been lucky in health (touch wood) and six years ago my greatest inspiration walked into my life (my now wife – more on that later in the month). I found myself in a good job with plenty of career opportunities.
My moment of epiphany occurred around two years ago. It was in the winter during an early drive to work through the rain and sleet that I questioned…. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Where am I going?
Answering these questions had been easy at one time. I was going to work like most people to primarily earn some money. These questions became much more difficult to answer once my girlfriend (now wife) started her company ‘Do What You Love’.
The concept was brilliant and the scope almost limitless. Who wouldn’t want to do what they love? But while I supported her endeavours, the cynical male in me was thinking “But very few people, especially guys with families to feed, are that lucky!”
Throughout the months prior to my a-ha moment I witnessed how many people were actually changing their lives in positive ways directly because of ‘Do What You Love’. I was becoming one big contradiction. I was sat across the table from the person helping so many people change their lives yet I was too stubborn to accept the reality of my own life. I was not doing what I loved, in fact far from it! As the months went by I was even beginning to hate what I did.
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading” – Lao Tzu
Did I really want another 30 years of feeling like this? No.
So what was I going to do about it?
I could moan about it and do nothing, which at best is a momentary escape or I could put my male cynicism aside and accept that I needed to make changes. Ultimately who else other than me is in charge of my life?
“There are two primary choices in life: To accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” – Dennis Waitley
I decided to take a six month sabbatical and go and live in Kyoto, Japan with Beth, both for a change of scene and to find some time to think. A little drastic I admit. The truth is the destination could really have been anywhere. The point was I needed time away from the daily grind to give myself an opportunity to take charge of my life.
“It is never too late to be what you might have been” – Mahatma Gandhi
Later this month I will share what happened to my outlook whilst taking that all important time out. For now I’d like to know what changes do you know deep down you need to make? Or what changes have you made recently – and how are things different now?
And if there are any men in your life in a similar situation to me, try to encourage them to talk about it or at least think about it. Please don’t be surprised if it is a difficult subject for them to talk about. Maybe they just need to take some time for themselves to reassess. Just because we never raise the topic doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking about it.
Until next time…
Mr K
