This is a guest post by Lara Tabatznik. You can find out more about Lara here and read our interview with her here.
I wish I could tell you that this has been my dream since I was five years old, that I have thought about it every day of my life, and that I knew this was what I wanted to do with every ounce of my heart, but this is not how the story goes.
In some ways I have been a seeker my entire life: searching for answers, searching for meaning, and always searching for happiness, but it wasn’t until I turned 28 that I formally set out on my journey of self-discovery.
I remember the moment so clearly; I didn’t realize it back then but it was the beginning of a whole new chapter. I picked up a magazine and started reading an article about the Hoffman Process*. I had heard about it years before as my cousin did it and it had a profound affect on her. The headline read something like: ‘The equivalent of eight years of therapy in eight days – a process that will change your life.’ The words spoke to my soul, and I just knew I had to try it. I wasn’t sure what it would involve, or why I felt so compelled to go, but I trusted the voice deep within me.
Taken at a retreat last summer… I really like the quote
On the first day of Hoffman, I had to stand up in front of 23 strangers and tell them why I was there. At first I didn’t know what to say – I didn’t really know why I was there. And then all of a sudden the words just came, taking me completely by surprise. I said: “I have been living my life for other people, I have no idea who I am, and I feel such sadness.” As I spoke the tears rolled down my face. It was an incredibly powerful and defining moment for me. To be seen. To be witnessed in a way I had never felt before. And to speak my truth in a way that felt painful and unfamiliar.
This eight-day psychological detox did in fact change my life, and more than anything it unlocked something in me. I had cracked and there was no going back. I had finally, after twenty-eight years, found my path.
Hoffman was the beginning of what I call my ‘inner journey’. My passion and commitment for the inner-work slowly penetrated everything I did, until it became what I did. Before I knew it I had signed up to more personal development retreats than I could count, I’d read every self-help book on the shelf, and I was meditating every day.
On a digital detox retreat last summer
At one with nature on a retreat in Spain
As clichéd as it sounds, I was having experiences that I could barely digest, let alone put into words, and I was meeting some of the world’s best practitioners and teachers. It felt like a dream, a dream involving a lot of work and letting go but also a lot of revelations and joy. I had become a spiritual junkie and I was proud of it.
I quickly realized how much this work was changing my life – workshop by workshop. I was rewriting my story, changing the beliefs I’d always had about myself, and finding a kind of inner peace that I never knew existed. Everything inside was reflected outside. For the first time in my life I knew what it meant to love myself and I was gradually becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin. I had found my passion and my purpose in the world.
Then the light bulb moment came. What if I could create a place for others to experience this kind of healing work? A place where they could enjoy amazing life-changing experiences? A seed of thought had been planted, and even though it wasn’t until a year later that I recognized that this truly was one of my big dreams, on some level I knew in that moment that it was exactly what I wanted.
I wanted to create a safe and magical place for deep healing and transformation to occur. I realized that part of the reason I’d been doing so much inner work was because I wanted to be able to help others; I wanted to create something bigger than myself. In the many moments during my own journey when I felt lost and confused about my purpose, I’d never have imagined that I was actually preparing for the ‘big idea’ the entire time. The seed had been planted, and without even realizing it, my dreams were manifesting.
Beautiful thinking place at a retreat I went on
I believe that when something is supposed to happen, the universe will put it right in front of you and let you decide what to do with it. So when an incredible farmhouse in the heart of Somerset, set on 42 Acres of land, became available adjacent to my brother’s house I just knew it was time to bring the inner work out.
Building the dream on 42 Acres of land
In April 2014, my brother and I purchased the land and we are now building the dream: a retreat center that will change lives. We want to create an oasis that unlocks things in people; a safe haven for people who are already on the journey as well as those who are just starting out; and a place that fuels inspiration, energy, vitality, aliveness, joy and gratitude.
42 Acres Retreat Center (above)
We hope that 42 Acres becomes a platform for emerging world-class practitioners, healers and leaders. We hope that it will bring together those who are eager to spread their wisdom and knowledge, and those who feel drawn to receive it. We hope, in time, that 42 Acres will become known as the ultimate retreat destination amongst those who are actively engaged in the world who want to grow stronger mentally, physically and emotionally and take it back into the world. Above all, we hope that people come to 42 Acres, find what they’re looking for and that this starts a ripple effect that creates social change from the inside out.
Stunning Somerset countryside, home to 42 Acres Retreat Centre – opening in April!
*The Hoffman Process is an intensive weeklong residential course that promotes personal discovery and development. With over 47 years experience, the Hoffman Institute has helped more than 96,000 people worldwide improve their lives and their relationships with others. Whether it’s dealing with anxiety, or just feeling that you’re not getting the best out of your life, the Hoffman Process provides you with new energy and positivity to face life’s challenges.
