GRATITUDE + CONSCIOUS LIVING Page 16 of 26

Big, heavy, slow… and grateful

Big, heavy, slow... and grateful DWYL BLOG TUNEINCHILLOUT 650X250PX LR

I haven’t talked much about being pregnant here on the blog over the past few months, but now I am at week 38 I just want to capture a few thoughts before we welcome our baby girl into the world. Right now I feel huge and heavy, I struggle to put my own shoes on, and I walk more slowly than a snail. But I feel well and happy, and am enjoying this very special experience very much.

When we found out about the pregnancy just a couple of weeks after our Spring wedding Mr K and I were both over the moon. It feels like exactly the right time in our lives for this, and we have been lucky to have an enjoyable journey over the past few months.

Pregnancy has been fascinating. It feels like a whole new world is opening up to us, and I have never spent so much time thinking about my body and what it is capable of. We have a new vocabulary now, and have had some hilarious conversations – sometimes with complete strangers at antenatal classes.

Beth pregnancy

At 37 weeks

As I have watched my bump grow, slowly at first, then at a slightly alarming rate in the past few weeks(!) the approaching new phase of our lives has felt more and more real. Each night I watch in wonder as my belly moves in waves, as baby stretches her limbs and tests out her little body. I love to imagine what her face will look like when she is smiling, sleeping, dreaming. The whole thing is a complete miracle to me.

Although we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in the UK as many of our US friends do, this feels like the perfect time to share just how thankful I am for this life, right now, and for the one developing inside me. I am thankful for many things, but particularly for…

  • Being able to get pregnant at 36, and having a smooth and enjoyable pregnancy so far (touch wood!)
  • Having the most amazing, supportive, loving partner in Mr K to share this very special adventure
  • Having built a company which allows us to enjoy this at our own pace, in our own way, and has allowed Mr K to be completely involved at every point, coming to every ante-natal appointment, sharing daily morning walks to stave off the queasiness, and running the business while I am off. I am so very grateful that he is going to be share the daily magic of having a little girl in our life, working from home and being there for all the important milestones, as well as the little details of every day
  • Business partners who are incredibly supportive of the major life events we have experienced this year – time off for our wedding and honeymoon, and now for maternity leave – who are genuinely excited for us, and flexible as we learn to navigate this new stage of life
  • Friends, family, colleagues, this community… for your love and support, and for keeping us motivated and excited about what is to come. THANK YOU!

What are you grateful for?

Life According to Mr. K – Handwriting On The Wall

lifeaccordingtomrk

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!

Audrey Hepburn 

Where do we look for inspiration? Do we delve into books, relive great sporting moments, do we wait to be inspired by others, do we look back at historical events or can inspiration be found everywhere and anywhere if we are ready to be inspired?

Personally my inspiration has come from my family, friends, films, sport, travel and books and more recently my wife. This was until I joined Do What You Love.

Here at Do What You Love we are blessed to be enveloped by inspiration on a daily basis. People are changing their lives. No it isn’t always easy but, what worth having is? There is a growing movement of people who are finding the courage to step out from the life they have to create a life they want. They are finding courage from within a community that is reaching far and wide. Throwing away the shackles of insecurity they are empowering one another to give it ago and fulfil their dreams. How can you not be inspired!

I took some of our own advice recently and registered on a creative writing course. I had to start from somewhere to try and realise my dream of writing a children’s book. It has been fantastic. I have met other people with a passion and love for the power of words. By merely choosing the correct words and placing them in the correct order you can create something very poetic, dramatic, haunting or even humorous. This journey is one of blood, sweat and tears and then most probably a few more tears.

I have tried to draw inspiration from the likes of AA Milne, JRR Tolkien, Roald Dahl, Lewis Carroll and C S Lewis to name but a few. They have created worlds which have mesmerised children and adults alike for decades spanning various generations. They have even gone as far as to create their own languages.

My idea is starting to gather a little momentum but it will be a while until I have the courage to share it with you. Whether it will be worth the wait will be debatable but the enjoyment of writing and creating a world to harness dreams has and is a constant pleasure. Even if it only keeps my wife entertained.

I have been reading lots of different books and poems to see what I can learn. I stumbled across a great little poem which I thought I would share with you. I read it a few times and loved it. See what you think…

The Handwriting On The Wall

(author unknown)

A weary mother returned from the store,
Lugging groceries through the kitchen door.
Awaiting her arrival was her 8 year old son,
Anxious to relate what his younger brother had done.

“While I was out playing and Dad was on a call,
T.J. took his crayons and wrote on the wall!
It’s on the new paper you just hung in the den.
I told him you’d be mad at having to do it again.”

She let out a moan and furrowed her brow,
“Where is your little brother right now?”
She emptied her arms and with a purposeful stride,
She marched to his closet where he had gone to hide.

She called his full name as she entered his room.
He trembled with fear–he knew that meant doom!
For the next ten minutes, she ranted and raved
About the expensive wallpaper and how she had saved.

Lamenting all the work it would take to repair,
She condemned his actions and total lack of care.
The more she scolded, the madder she got,
Then stomped from his room, totally distraught!

She headed for the den to confirm her fears.
When she saw the wall, her eyes flooded with tears.
The message she read pierced her soul with a dart.
It said, “I love Mommy”, surrounded by a heart.

Well, the wallpaper remained, just as she found it,

With an empty picture frame hung to surround it.
A reminder to her, and indeed to all,
Take time to read the handwriting on the wall.

Can you think of a moment or time you were convinced you knew the truth until it was put into context and it all changed?

Dreamcatching

Dreamcatching

This week a very good friend sent us a Dream Catcher as a late wedding/early baby gift. It was handmade by the talented Rachael Rice, in beautiful neutrals and pastels, draped in feathers and trinkets. We absolutely love it, and have hung it above the baby’s cot in anticipation of her arrival in the next few weeks.

I love the idea of Dream Catchers, and did a bit of reading to find out more about them. Apparently the Native American Ojibwe people have an ancient legend of the dreamcatcher:

“Storytellers speak of the Spider Woman, known as Asibikaashi; she took care of the children and the people on the land. Eventually, the Ojibwe Nation spread to the corners of North America and it became difficult for Asibikaashi to reach all the children. So the mothers and grandmothers would weave magical webs for the children, using willow hoops and sinew, or cordage made from plants. The dreamcatchers would filter out all bad dreams and only allow good thoughts to enter our mind. Once the sun rises, all bad dreams just disappear.” (from Wikipedia)

Isn’t that magical? What if all your bad dreams just disappeared when you woke up (or snapped out of a daydream), and your mind was only filled with good thoughts? What a powerful thing that would be.

When you are trying to make major changes in your life – which are inevitable if you want to move from doing something you don’t love to doing something you do love – then dreaming is an important part of that. But worrying about the worst that could happen tends to go alongside it.

This week, instead of getting caught up in the “But what if things go wrong…?” why not think about both sets of possible consequences, acknowledge the risks, but then also acknowledge the possibility of the best outcome if you do take that leap. Remember, if you do do it, something might go wrong. But if you don’t do it, you can guarantee things are not going to suddenly start going right!

This week imagine the Dream Catcher is working for you, harnessing all your good thoughts and dreams, and willing you along the path towards doing what you love!

If you are in the process of making any major changes, and find that this helps you, be sure to tell us about it in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter.

Happy dreaming!

Beth and team

Life According to Mr. K – Big company vs small business

lifeaccordingtomrk

“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over” – Richard Branson (Founder, Virgin Group)

Over the last three weeks I have provided you with a little insight to how our company was conceived (part 1 / part 2 ). We have taken a different route than we first expected and we serve our market in a very different way than we first planned. Even so, our manifesto has not changed and is still the core message for what we here at Do What You Love believe.

It has been seven months since I joined the company and it has gone in the blink of an eye. After working for over 12 years in the construction industry as a Civil Engineer it has taken a little time to adapt to my new role, but my life is very different (and infinitely better) as a result.

I thought it would be interesting to compare the differences I have noticed between working for a very large company and now working for our own small, younger company. The main areas of diffference are lifestyle, perceived security, self-actualisation, reward, diversity, politics, ethics and productivity.

The greatest difference I have noticed is how my lifestyle has changed. My previous career demanded long hours and required me to be at a certain location for a specific number of hours a day. I now have a much greater flexibility to enable me to be fully in control. And the result?  I work harder – a lot harder – than before.

As we work from home there is no mindless commute (I will never miss sitting in traffic), I can decide when I want to do my exercise, how many breaks I take and even where I choose to work (office, lounge, roof terrace, cafe, beachfront etc). The flipside to this is you can find yourself working earlier in the morning and longer into the night.

If you have ever taken an Effective Time Management workshop you might have done one of those exercises which helps you understand how you work. I discovered that I work much better in the morning. I have adapted and modified my whole working environment and structured my day to allow me to do work when I am most productive. Working in an office does not always provide this opportunity.

The most exciting part of the lifestyle change is that I will be at home for the entire time my baby will be growing up. That is something I cannot put a price on. I don’t want to miss one second. (I have a feeling I may spend large portions of my day staring at her instead of working…)

I know one thing for certain. I have never had so much satisfaction from my work. Every piece of work that we put out in the world is a reflection of what we believe, and is created from a place of wanting to support others pursue their dreams. It is mindblowing to think that our community really is in all corners of the world. It is definitely worth all the effort.

 “Work like there is someone working twenty-four hours a day to take it all away from you” – Mark Cuban (Owner, Dallas Mavericks)

The downside if there is one to my current lifestyle is switching off. I cannot leave the office on a Friday and not give it a second thought until Monday. This just doesn’t happen. In the beginning we were constantly chatting about what is working well, what isn’t and what we can do better. Of course we are very passionate and love what we are doing but it still isn’t healthy to do it 24/7.

We have recently got more strict about not talking about work in the evenings, or purposely going out to a cafe to talk about a specific project (rather than just brainstorming as soon as we think of it). I have removed an email account (work) from my phone and try not to check any social media site after 19:00 at night unless there is a specific launch or other one-off event on. Small things like this make a big difference.

Anyone who has moved from a large company to a small company (or vice versa) will be aware that the smaller the company the more diverse your role becomes. Basically there just aren’t the numbers of people available and it is not financially viable to have individual people for every individual job role.

Within a large company you can be ‘pigeon holed’ into doing one activity. This has its obvious advantages as you attain a confidence in your micro world and become very knowledgeable about a small yet integral part of the business. If you need something else doing you would normally just pick up the phone or email that department and they would ensure it is done. However, this can be detrimental to a company’s flexibility, and can restrict an individual’s development opportunities. You can become overly dependent upon others. You can lack the variety of work to allow for greater growth and satisfaction. You begin to question your intrinsic worth to the company. Can they simply replace you as you are defined by a role? Do you lose the ability to think on your feet and find solutions yourself instead of asking someone else?

Here at Do What You Love our roles are many and varied. They incorporate upholding the company’s manifesto in all decision making, branding, pricing strategies, marketing, partnership development, course content, course delivery, web-site development, financial and risk management and data entry – all things that you would find in any company. But the difference is that we all do a bit of many of the things required. We also do a fair bit of laughing, tea drinking, finding inspiration online and offline, creative thinking, going for long walks to dream and plan, and other ways of doing what we love.

Staying true to ‘doing what we love’ has allowed us a certain clarity as the business has grown and become busier. There comes a point when you realise there are just some tasks that are better off done by others with the correct expertise – accounting, website design and bookkeeping to name but a few.

Our bookkeeper and accountant have been on our journey with us since day one. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. Having clear, readily understandable and available accounts has allowed us to make all decisions with confidence based on what we need and what we can afford.

The coding and design of our numerous websites are now in very safe professional hands and hosted accordingly. I can promise you that if something goes wrong when your site is live and there is heavy traffic you would pay anything at that point to fix the problem. So why would we not pay the same to ensure our sites are maintained and serviced by professionals? If you have an online business then investing in decent tech support is one of the most important things you can do.

This brings me to a point that I have been asked about the most since giving up my previous career. Security. Is there more security working for a huge company? The simple answer is “I don’t know”. What is security? A company can make you redundant, or fire you, or take away benefits, pretty much whenever they like. Although with our own business we have to be responsible for bringing in enough money to support us and our team, the truth is I have never felt more secure than I do now, master of my own time and in charge of my own destiny.

We are young, dynamic and flexible. We are constantly reassessing where we are, what opportunities are on the horizon, and how we can spread our risk. This is all part of having a viable, sustainable business. Huge companies generate mammoth turnovers but if the numbers do not stack up there will not be any hesitation to cut thousands of jobs. As the old adage goes, “Turnover vanity, profit sanity”. The previous 5 or 6 years are a reminder of this.

Another major difference is the level of personal contact within a large company. If you work for a business with 500+ employees, how likely is it that you will get the chance to have a chat with your CEO or Managing Director? Would he or she stop to say hello or ask you how you are? The likely answer is no. Not because they are not great or polite people but because it is not a practical or efficient use of their time. They also have to make decisions most of us would never want and would have nightmares about if we did.

So do any of us have secure jobs? I would like to ask you this question in a slightly different way. Do you feel in control of your job?

There are a few aspects of my previous job that I do miss, mainly the people. I had the great pleasure of meeting so many diverse people on a daily basis. I have and always will be a people person and I miss the daily ‘site craic (crack)’ immensely. That said I am beginning to ‘meet’ some very inspirational people from very different circles in my role. The problem is I have hardly met any of them in person as most of what we do is online. We may need a brainstorm to do something about that…

Nearly all of my communication is now over email, which would not be my chosen medium, but reaching out globally does not allow eye-to-eye contact with every single customer – not until another meteoric advancement in technology anyway. We do strive keep a feeling of personal touch by responding to every email individually, even if it takes a little while.

I also find myself sat behind a computer for longer periods of the day. This is personally not ideal but is just a short-term situation based on the development of our company and what is required at this moment. We have plans in the pipeline that will hopefully  rectify this for me. I will keep you posted!

The reward I now receive from this job wins hands down. In fact I struggle to think what my reward was at all during the final few years in my last previous job. At a very basic level, the monetary rewards are greater here at Do What You Love – and there is a pride in that pay packet that I have not felt in a long while.

For me though the wider rewards now are plenty, and perhaps more important. Writing this part has made me think about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for the first time since college. The self-actualisation aspect is now being met. The work we do is really helping others and the thankyous we receive will always be our greatest reward, knowing that we have helped others improve their own lives. I couldn’t write better testimonials for our courses if I tried!

The direction and ethical stance we take as a company is ours to define and control. Noone else will ever dictate this. There are no politics to adhere to. Of course there are always customers to consider, and the way we want to serve them defines much of how we do what we do. But the main difference is that we have CHOSEN our customers. How is that possible? By getting clear on why we do what we do, who we want to serve and what we can deliver that will enable to do that. Then communicating in a way which attracts exactly the kind of people we want to serve – it works, I promise. We strive everyday to look for improvements and efficiencies but never shortcuts! The quality of what we deliver has to be our signature.

So there we have it – a few of my thoughts on big versus small and working for yourself. Doing What You Love will always mean something different of each and everyone of us. In terms of business we are very passionate about helping others find what this may mean. We love our customers and hope to serve them the best we can for many more years. The main thing we are giving it a go!

If you started your own company what would it be and how would you succeed? Or if you are already a business owner, how do you make sure that what you provide your customers is truly special?

Until next time…

Mr K

Our tiny handmade wedding!

Paul & Beth wedding

I have been wanting to share a peek into our wedding for a while, and ‘Love to create’ month seemed like the perfect time, as it was a tiny handmade wedding. It really was a very special day, which began with a beautiful storybook complete with diamond necklace gift, and ended with rings on our fingers, smiles on our faces and big love in our hearts. I have never had so much fun in one day…

We got engaged in a beautiful secluded Japanese garden in Kyoto on my 35th birthday last May. It was perfect for us. We were at the beginning of a six month sabbatical in Japan’s ancient capital, and felt like a whole new adventure was just beginning.

(more…)

Getting some baby practice in

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Totally in love with this little man – my lovely new baby nephew. He is just a week old, and very tiny but just perfect. So lovely to spend some time with family, indulging in the preciousness (and sheer cuteness) of of this new little life. Can’t believe our own baby will be here in just three months!

Baby Zack and auntie Beth

 One happy auntie over here…

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Mr K gets some practice in

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Life According to Mr.K – Love Life (4): On friendship

lifeaccordingtomrk

If I reflect on my life to date all of my memories of any significance share one common element – others! My life would be empty without my friends and family to share it with.

This Christmas my life is going to change forever. I am going to become a Dad! I found out 4 months ago that Beth was pregnant. If I am honest when I first found out it seemed so surreal that I just could not comprehend what the statement – “I’m pregnant!” – meant.

This was until the 12 week scan. I sat there expecting to be nothing more than a bystander offering support when requested, until the screen came alive. I was transfixed as a little, tiny person appeared. The clarity of the spine, skull and the heart the size of a pea (most probably much smaller) pumping frantically was amazing. It took my breath away.

It was then only a matter of moments until my heart began to melt. I had heard the baby’s heartbeat! It was quick, strong and rhythmic. It was as if a small drum was being beaten from within, communicating with us. I was in awe. I am sure I just have to fall into the long line of other new fathers who have experienced the same thing. The reason for me being was changing with every beat.

Later that evening I remember sitting in my office gazing out of the skylight lost in my thoughts. I was reminiscing about my own childhood. All the good times with my brothers always pour to the forefront. Yes we fought and we screamed to the world we hated each other, but hours later we would be thick as thieves and up to mischief.

All the places we lived and all the adventures we had flooded my mind. The dynamic between the three of us had changed over the years, as it must. Our interests fluctuated from action figures, computer games and bikes to sport and later on girls and alcohol. But brothers we will always remain.

The wry smile that was associated with the mischief was tinged by the realisation that the roles your siblings and more importantly your friends play when you are young is never quite the same as you get older.

When I was growing up my family lived all over the world – from Trinidad & Tobago, Hong Kong and Iraq to the not-quite-so exotic Liverpool, Manchester and Leeds. This culminated in me going to more than 15 different schools. One thing all this moving around did highlight was the importance of friends.

It was never easy at a new school. I remember always being hugely nervous on the first day, hoping my classmates wouldn’t be too unkind. I found the best way was to stay inconspicuous and not try to force friendships. I used to let time work out the details for me, and it always would. Months later the apprehension was forgotten and life was great – trading stickers, playing football in the park or downball in the quad, depending on the country.

“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” – Stand by Me

I had grown up loving 80’s films. I remember being taken to the cinema for my 10th birthday to watch The Goonies. Stand By Me still remains one of my favourite films. I guess it is the narrative provided by Richard Dreyfuss that always strikes a chord with me. It revolves around the friendship of four boys and what great adventures you can have just a walk down the railway track away. OK the leeches I could do without, but the bond between friends is one very dear to my heart.

Just like my brothers the roles my friends have played in my life have varied depending upon my age and interests – from trying to catch fish and building rope swings to playing football, getting the round in and talking to girls. Importantly good friends are the ones who challenge your comfort zone more than any others.

They instinctively let you know that life doesn’t always need to be quite as serious as you believe it is when left alone. Successes and failures are put into context. You gain character and a thicker skin by taking jokes aimed at you on the chin. Of course you are always waiting for one of them to slip up so you can give it right back!

I have had the great honour of being a best man and an usher at several friends’ weddings, roles which I was humbled when asked to do. The friends who bestowed this honour upon me have all enriched my life more than I will ever be able to express to them.

I have met so many amazing people through the years. Some I know are friends for life. But sadly the reality is that I will never  see the vast majority of them again, simply because our lives get in the way. I now have to plan months ahead to get a date in the diary, which is in stark contrast to hopping on my bike and knocking on the door. I guess this is one aspect of my life I wish had never changed. (Note to any friends reading this: our door is always open if you want to drop round for tea!)

I am transported to present day sat on our roof terrace this time gazing out to sea. I am contemplating life as a father and the challenges that lie ahead. My support now comes primarily from my wife and the prospect of creating our own family. I know my parents, brothers and friends are on the other end of the phone, Skype or a social media site. And knowing they are there is the main point, just like I am there for them.

I am truly blessed by the friends I have. I have continued to make friends throughout my life and great ones at that. As far as I am concerned I have the best friends anyone could ask for!

What aspects of your childhood do you miss the most? Do they have to be lost forever or can you get any of them back?

Until next time…

Mr K

Discovering the difference a break makes

Discovering the difference a break makes DWYL BLOG TUNEINCHILLOUT 650X250PX LR

After many hectic months with the wedding, business growth, getting pregnant, moving house, unpacking etc, we decided to take ourselves off for a little ‘babymoon’.

Babymoon - sea

We went to Tenerife for a week to chill out by the pool and enjoy some glorious sunshine, in the knowledge that with a little one on the way we probably won’t be able to do this again for a while. It was such a good thing to do.

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Sometimes you don’t realise just how knackered you are until you properly stop and switch off. The first couple of days we just slept on sun loungers for hours, reading, taking a dip in the pool every now and then, or wandering down to the rocks by the sea.

But then, come half way through, we started to feel that our brains were clearing, our minds were opening up, and new ideas were emerging. By the end of the week (six novels and a catamaran sail with dolphins, whales and turtles later!) we were buzzing with new ideas, plans, ways to do things differently and a new enthusiasm for everything on the horizon.

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Why don’t you treat yourself to a short break this month to rediscover what fires you up, and clear your mind for new ideas and plans?