There is great comfort to be found in the sense of belonging and thinking, “I do that too!” I do hope that at times whilst reading my blog posts you may nod and chuckle to yourself in agreement. In those moments we can relax and breathe a sigh of relief. We are not alone!
Finding common ground with humour can allow us to bond, seek perspective and has definitely helped ‘break the ice’ in varying situations over the years.
I particularly love observational humour. One of my favourite comedians is Lee Evans. I remember one sketch in particular when he demonstrates how we attempt to get into a hot bath. It was priceless. I was in stitches… it was as if he had been spying on me, observing and noting all the ridiculous faces and noises I make. Judging by the audience I was not alone.
We often find great comfort belonging to a group, whether that be family, friends, teammates, classmates, work colleagues or any other collection of people. Safety in numbers if you like. This may be in part dictated by the society in which we live. In Japan, where there is a strong sense of collectivism, there is a famous saying, “The nail which sticks out gets hammered down”. Whilst here in the UK the sense of ‘group-think’ is nowhere near as strong, and individualism (especially in places like Brighton where we live) is often celebrated, in our social groups there is still a tendency to do what your mates do. It can take courage to step away and do your own thing.
But what makes you, you, instead of just another member of your social circle? How do you stand apart from the crowd? What is your special skill? What are you striving for? What does your life look like?
“I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.”― Johnny Depp
Our lives are heavily influenced and shaped by the people with whom we share the same space, whether that is our family and friends sharing significant and frequent episodes or the passing acquaintances that we coexist with for fleeting moments. But the story we tell has to be ours and not one lived by or through others.
I have spoken extensively and openly about the roles my friends and family play in my life. They are priceless and I would not change them for the world. But they should enrich your life not dictate it.
Having their support provides a metaphorical safety net. We can venture and experience life with the knowledge that any falls that come our way will be broken. For the most part this is an amazing gift. Of course it is not tangible but the security provided can be felt, it is there, it shelters us and allows us to grow. But….
Can too much security be a dangerous thing?
A security blanket can dampen and diminish that primal sense of survival. It can hide what you are truly capable of. Sometimes you have to lift your head above the parapet and see what is going on. Sometimes you have to jump into the deep end and see if you will sink or swim. Sometimes we have to take the path less trodden.
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” ― George Bernard Shaw
When we find ourselves isolated and alone how will we react? We don’t always know. We hope it will be with confidence and a touch of sophistication. The reality is usually a little different! These are the times when we are painting life’s picture with our own colours. No longer overshadowed, manipulated or tarnished by others.
When you are in one of these situations you might feel a little sick, very nervous or even ready to pass out. But perhaps that is just a sense of aliveness, and you usually find a way to keep it together and come out the other side, a little stronger, a little more savvy, a little taller. You comfort zone has expanded. You are creating your own story. You are a painter of life.
Of course we all make mistakes along the way. We do not walk for the first time without falling over. We do not spell every word without corrections being made. That is life, warts and all.
Your life is yours to live. What a priceless gift.
What story will you tell? What colours will you paint with?
Have the courage to be you, not just one of the crowd!
Until next time…
Mr K
