Mrs Tanaka with a bowl of azuki kake-gori (shaved ice with azuki beans)
It never ceases to amaze me what an important role strangers can play in our lives. Many years ago, when I first went to Kyoto at the tender age of 19 to study, this particular lady made a huge difference to my time there.
The entrance of Anraku-ji
One day after school I was exploring a small back street behind the famous Philosopher’s Path and I stumbled across a lovely little temple called Anraku-ji. It was closed, but its tiny side door was open a crack so, being a curious teenager, I pushed it open and peered inside.
There I found Mrs Tanaka teaching basket weaving to a group of laughing Japanese women. She saw me and beckoned me over, and although I was a complete stranger with only broken Japanese, she invited me to join in. For the next hour or so I sat blissfully weaving a wonky basket in the garden of this beautiful temple, surrounded by strangers who felt like new friends.
When the workshop had finished Mrs Tanaka invited me to go with her to her daughter’s Japanese dancing lesson. For some reason I trusted her right away, and accepted. And there began a friendship which would see me going to Mrs Tanaka’s house after school every Monday for the next year, learning ikebana (flower arranging) from her, and together exploring different parts of Japanese culture. She always welcomed me with tea and biscuits, provided the flowers for arranging and never accepted a single Yen off me (I clearly looked like the poor student that I was!)
I met up with Mrs Tanaka for tea and cakes at the gorgeous Toraya tea house. She looked exactly the same as she had 15 years ago, and it was like I was lunching with a favourite Aunt. We spent hours catching up, talking about our travels, and having our first proper conversation in Japanese (as mine had been somewhat broken back then!) Her daughter Ayana is now in her late twenties and works in a theatre in Tokyo. It’s amazing how time flies, but how friendships can stay true throughout the years, even when there is such an age gap.
To me Mrs Tanaka personifies kindness, generosity, grace and culture. When she invited me through that gate, she invited me into the real Kyoto, and through her I got under the skin of the city in a way I could not have done on my own. When I think of the way she accepted me from the beginning, it makes me want to reach out to visitors in my own city and help them see a little more of local life.
Is there a particular stranger who has made a real difference in your life?
