ADVENTURE + ALIVENESS Page 6 of 13

Life According To Mr. K – Love Life (3)

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lifeaccordingtomrk

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

–       Mother Theresa

Our lives are all unique. Our own personal stories are made all the more colourful as they blend and interweave with one another’s when our paths meet. They are filled with experiences that create memories, thus providing us with an opportunity to gain knowledge and wisdom for the next chapter.

Every step of our adventure is dictated by the decisions we make. The places we go dictates the people we meet. Science fiction may let us believe different but unfortunately we cannot journey down two separate paths simultaneously, to check where it may lead us. We have to trust our gut instinct and experiences to guide us.

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Life According To Mr.K – Love Life (2) + Book Give Away!

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lifeaccordingtomrk

Love Life!  This is our theme for August, and perhaps the most important one yet.

To love something we must treasure it. To really love life requires an appreciation of life itself. And when you really begin to appreciate your life you become increasingly aware how fragile and short it is in the grand scheme of things. The importance of  life has been exaggerated by the news that come Christmas I am going to become a Dad!

I mentioned last week that I believe we get one shot at life and I was going to make damn sure I was going to live my life to its maximum. What I forgot to mention was that I am also very keen to live a very long and healthy life – but aren’t we all? This has never been more true than now, with a baby on the way.

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Life According to Mr. K – Love Life (1)

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lifeaccordingtomrk

I have the great pleasure to introduce you to our next month’s theme – Love Life.

Working for Do What You Love does mean that more and more hyperbole appears in sentences that you either write or speak, love being a perfect example. This is not a coincidence!

I certainly do not want to get all bohemian on you but when you find that right direction and combine it with the right balance, life becomes one great adventure. And living that adventure becomes the reason you jump out of bed every morning. It is only natural that you want to share this with your family and friends, and in our case through Do What You Love to the whole world.

As you may be aware if you read this blog often, my life has changed massively over the past couple of years. I have reflected and written retrospectively about my experiences in my old career and during my time in Japan, but now, given the new theme, it is time to dedicate this month’s posts to the present moment.

Depending on your religious beliefs you may well have different views on what life means and the value of it. I believe that we get one shot at it so I am going to make damn sure that I use my time to live it to its very maximum.

What does living life mean to you? Is it grasping every opportunity that comes your way? Is it dedicating it to a good cause? Is it experiencing as many things as possible? Is it about being happy? Or could it be described as leaving a legacy for the next generation? I think it is most probably a combination of them all with lots of others thrown in depending upon the individual. For me it is Doing What You Love.

Doing what you love does not mean drinking cold beer all the time, constantly sunbathing, not working or necessarily getting rich. Doing what you love is finding the right balance in your life to ensure you remain enthused, interested, motivated and healthy. For example, a cold beer tastes so much sweeter when it is earned and sun bathing may be a much needed re-charge of the batteries after being cold or cooped up inside.

Although I have changed career some of my favourite memories of the summer have been spent ensuring huge concrete pours go off (literally) without a hitch. Then having a cold beer and sharing that achievement with my work colleagues. The trouble was the good days were hugely outweighed by the not so good. This balance of my life had to be readdressed. It would be considered stupid to continue down a path so out of proportion.

“Life’s hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.” –  John Wayne

My life now finds me down in Brighton. For those of you not from the UK it is directly below London on the coast. It is vibrant, diverse but has a sense of perspective about it. And like most coastal towns/cities it has a relaxed and laid- back undertone to it. Most mornings I wake early and go either running or cycling along the front. This way I manage not only to get my exercise in for the day but also to enjoy the view with a few select others before the crowds flock. It is also my time when the world and my thoughts are mine alone. Priceless.

I return home and shower before most have even woken up. This early bird routine has been with me since my paper rounds at the age of 11. Personally I think it really is hard to beat an early morning, when the air is fresh and the optimism that a great day is in-store is still a reality.

Another advantage of living by the sea is eating on the roof terrace. Nothing special, but it is a quiet private space where my wife and I eat, plan, laugh and look over the rooftops out to sea. Every now and again we do hold our breath as another seagull flies over our heads waiting to see if we are going to be their next victim(!) but that is a small price to pay… I guess gazing out to sea encourages you to dream. Well this is how I feel life is now. Limitless!!

I then work. Yes work! We are forging our own path and we both truly believe that the world will be a better place if more people were doing what they loved. This is a hugely motivating ideal, which I am sure we can help others achieve. So every email that is sent or blog post written or course content devised may just be that little part of someone else’s day that makes all the difference.

I allow time in the day to go to the gym and to get outside. One thing I miss in particular about my previous career is the outside element of the work. For me now to sit behind a computer all day would be hypocritical, boring and unhealthy. It just isn’t me. So to design my day to suit me provides the balance and variety I crave. We can all do this. The level of freedom we have may fluctuate be we are all in charge. So take charge.

After work we cook and chat about various things, whatever is important, humorous or even annoying! At the moment it is predominantly about the prospect of being parents. Then we eat. I have, do and always will love my food. Then most importantly we have some private time. We may walk, watch a good film or just read. The quiet moments are some of my favourites, then off to bed. What the next day has in store I never know but I can’t wait to find out. This hasn’t always been the case.

This is just a snippet of a common day in my life now. I have made changes to allow me to live it and enjoy it. Do not wait for someone else to live your life for you.

Get up, get involved!

I would be interested to hear your thoughts and how you could readdress the balance in your life so it suits you better!

until next time…

Mr K

Honeymoon (7): London

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Honeymoons tend to be very private, but we ended ours with a huge group of people – two of our very favourite Japanese people, along with half of their company workers!

London Eye - Beth

On the London Eye with Kyoko and Adachi

Kyoko and Adachi are like second family to me, having let me stay in their house rent free for a year when I lived in the northern Japanese city of Yamagata back in my twenties. They are jazz musicians who love a good party, and frequently opened their doors to the various waifs and strays I brought home (i.e. most of the foreigners who lived in Yamagata) – their house became known as the ‘Adachi Hospital for Homesick Foreigners’ as there was always a cold beer and warm welcome for anyone who visited. (You can read about the crazy way I met them in this post). They also looked after us in the first couple of weeks of our sabbatical in Japan last year.

Adachi travelled the world in his youth and lived in Notting Hill way before it was hip, and Kyoko has been heavily inspired by western music as a Jazz singer, but they had never been to England together. I always promised that of course I would look after them if they ever came to visit, so when they decided to take their team to Europe to celebrate a pivotal birthday for their company, I pursuaded them to give up their idea of going to Italy and come to England instead. But that was before we got engaged. The irony was, they then booked their flights, and it ended up being a week after our wedding (which we would have loved them to come to), and WE were in Italy for our honeymoon! So we decided to spent the last couple of days of our holiday in a lovely London hotel exploring with them instead, and it was such fun.

Charlotte Street Hotel, London

Charlotte Street Hotel

We booked ourselves into the gorgeous Charlotte Street Hotel in Soho. It is really expensive so we had just taken a simple room, but when we got their they said that as a honeymoon gift they had upgraded us to their loft suite – an apartment overlooking London charged out at £1,000 a night! It was so fabulous we didn’t want to leave, but headed out onto the streets of London to see the sights with our visiting friends.

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The living room of our loft apartment (complete with our own private lift!)

We have both been to London countless times, but usually to see friends or for work – rarely as a tourist. It was so much fun to see London through the eyes of our friends – the London Eye, live music on the banks of the Thames, the British Museum, Big Ben, afternoon tea in a posh hotel, sunday lunch in an old English pub etc. We also surprised them with three of our English friends who had stayed at their house over the years turning up for lunch and dinner!

Here are a few happy snapshots:

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This time with old friends was actually the perfect way to end our honeymoon and start the rest of our married lives. Thank you so much to our friends and families who contributed to our honeymoon and make it so special.

You can read my other honeymoon posts here: (1) Florence / (2) Castel Monastero / (3) Winetasting in Tuscany / (4) Borgo Santo Pietro / (5) Pasta masterclass / (6) Pisa and home

Honeymoon (4): Borgo Santo Pietro

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Continuing the story of our dreamy honeymoon (which seems like a long time ago now, even though it was only in April)…

Honeymoon - Borgo Santo Pietro

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We spent three blissful days at Borgo Santo Pietro, a stunning Italian villa in the Tuscan countryside, which turns out to have been awarded ‘Best Boutique Hotel in the World’ in 2012! I am not surprised – it felt like you were staying at a rich friend’s gorgeous country home. It is hard to find words to describe this place, so I will let the pictures do the talking.

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This chandelier was in the toilet!

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One night the kitchen was doing a special Tuscan dinner, but we had already sampled so much rich food we decided to opt for something more simple in their outdoor bar (in the picture above). And as everyone else was at the dinner, we ended up with the whole place to ourselves, with our own personal barman, a roaring log fire and deep comfy sofas to chill in as we sampled the best the local vineyard had to offer. We talked long into the night about the shared life we have ahead of us, and I think it was actually my favourite night of the whole honeymoon.

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Although the days were warm, the nights were chilly, so we spent a fair bit of time by the log fires inside the house too – so cosy.

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Such a special place…

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You can read my other honeymoon posts here: (1) Florence / (2) Castel Monastero / (3) Winetasting in Tuscany / (4) Borgo Santo Pietro / (5) Pasta masterclass / (6) Pisa and home

Life According To Mr. K – Love to Change (3)

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Life According To Mr. K - Love to Change (3) lifeaccordingtomrk

In my last column I talked about the six month sabbatical Beth and I took last year. The change of location brought an obvious change in scenery, environment, food, culture, language, tempo and lifestyle. My physical surroundings had changed massively.

We had traded our considerably large and very comfortable 3 storey house for a postage stamp of a flat, – 12 square metres to be exact. We prepared food on top of the fridge and cooked on a single ring hob. The toilet design had been taken straight from a plane, it was three steps from the kitchen and the dining table was literally a foot from the bed. Compact to say the least (or cosy if you ask Beth).

We had no car, no phone and no TV. I had no idea how significant this was to become. These changes in circumstance prompted us to go out all the time. By going out I don’t mean going to the pub. I mean going outside and exploring. We cycled and walked everywhere. We spent time in coffee shops, by the river, at temples and shrines, in parks and public gardens. Okay and the odd bar!

I was reading, writing and drawing nearly every day. I felt alive. More importantly I felt that I was living every day.

There is no doubting that Kyoto is a magical place. It is so different it would capture anyone’s imagination for a while.

But I truly believe the most significant change for me was not the change in scenery, culture, people, language or food.

The most significant change was a shift to having less, doing less, rushing less. Less stuff, less technology and less noise led to more time, more laughs and certainly more adventures.

Maybe less is more! I never really appreciated this saying before my trip but it certainly do now. When you think about it in this way, it is actually possible to make small changes anytime, even starting right now. Small changes can have big results.

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur” – Leo Tolstoy

I remember sitting on the shinkansen (bullet train) and noticing that every single person was transfixed by their phone or tablet. I guess this is pretty much true of any commute, in nearly every industrialised society. And I used to be part of that. But not this time.

I spent the next couple of hours gazing out of the window, watching mountains and paddy fields pass by. My mind was free to wander aimlessly. I felt so relaxed, enjoying the details in the moment. Maybe if we try to be a little less obsessed with what is ahead, we can let ourselves enjoy the journey, and the view, a little more.

“True change takes place in the imagination” – Thomas Moore

I have made so many big changes recently, from changing career, to learning a brand new skill (Japanese) to getting married and now moving house.

I wonder why, after a decade of inactivity/ doing the same thing, there have suddenly been a flurry of changes? Is it my age? Is it the influence of my wife and the ethos of Do What You Love? Or is it that I changed one thing and that went well, so I had more confidence to change another, and another? Once I opened the floodgates I realised that there wasn’t that much to be fearful of, and a whole lot to be excited about. I suspect it is a combination of all the above.

How about you? What small steps could you take right now, to simplify your life and make changes today that will get you closer to feeling how you want to feel?

Until next time…

Mr K

Life According To Mr. K – Love to Change (2)

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Life According To Mr. K - Love to Change (2) lifeaccordingtomrk

The six months I spent in Japan last year was certainly one of huge change and of even greater self-discovery. It is most probably one of the most important decisions I have ever made and has been truly life changing.  But surely we don’t have to disappear half way around the world every time we have an issue to work through.

I think it is important to note that I didn’t arrive in Japan and suddenly find all the answers. Far from it! It was a long and very frustrating process that eventually presented me with the questions I needed to ask myself.

It is easy to say that things have to change, but the big question is ‘How do I go about changing them?’ Herein lies the key.

I had to ask myself, “How do I want to feel in my life? What do I need to do differently to feel that way?”

The changes I sought had to come from within me. In six months’ time I was to return home. I refused to consider returning with no plan for doing things differently, and allowing all my old issues to return. I needed a long term and soul defining change.

I remember sitting on the banks of the Kamogawa (Kamo River) one morning reading a book that a friend had sent me. The book “Eat, Sleep Sit”, the autobiographical story of 30 year old Japanese businessman Kaoru Nonomura, who gave it all up to spend a year at Japan’s strictest and most revered training monastery, Eiheiji.

The book made me ask myself what do we hope to achieve by making such drastic changes. Do we hope that the magnitude of the change will be directly proportional to the effect it will have? Or is it more a case of, “If I am going to do this then I am going to really do this. Sink or swim.”

My conclusion? I’m not actually sure, but what I do know is that taking a big step to arrest the trajectory of my life gave me the time, space and energy to take more control of its direction. Making a big change means you cannot help but notice that things are different. And that can be just the wake up call we need.

I found some parallels with Nonomura’s story and what I was hoping to achieve, but there was one major difference. If I was to succeed I needed to be realistic. I needed to appreciate that some changes may take a while. And I needed a plan. I wasn’t running away, I just needed to catch my breath.

 “Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed”

– Irene Peter

We seem to put a lot of emphasis on changing location to help us make changes. This can help in certain situations, but it is definitely not the only way. In fact to make real soul defining changes we need to build on what we discover whilst away and find a structure that will work for us.

Surely we can find inspiration anywhere and everywhere – we just need to give ourselves the opportunity and more importantly the time to spot it!

If you could escape from your daily life, where would you go and why? Is there any way you can make that happen? It doesn’t have to be this week – it could be in the next year? Or the next five years? I’d like to hear about it.

Until next time…

Life According To Mr. K - Love to Change (2) paul sig1