Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending – to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how the story ends.” ~ Brené Brown, Rising Strong
This post is written by our Senior Editor, Rachel Kempton.
We know, from our own unique experiences and from the inspiring stories that are shared within our community, how much courage it takes to make your dreams come true – and how incredible it feels when they do.
Taking bold steps towards doing what you love is exciting, exhilarating and rewarding, but the journey there isn’t always easy. At times we can find ourselves feeling lost, confused and vulnerable – especially when we’re figuring out who we are, what we want and how we’re going to get there. We can find ourselves feeling stuck and afraid – paralysed by fear, past experiences or painful emotions. Or trapped – by people, circumstances, or by the stories we tell ourselves about our personal and professional struggles.
Yet when we are brave enough to look at our lives with clarity, understanding and compassion and challenge ourselves to rise through the pain of hurt, loss, falls and failure, we come alive. We move into a place of honesty and freedom: a place where we can live more truthfully and wholeheartedly and be the master of our own destiny.
One lady who knows all about the role bravery plays in living life with wisdom and meaning is social scientist, thought leader and best selling author, Dr. Brené Brown.
Brené is one of our biggest role models and someone who has built her career on exploring the deep dark places that many of us fear to tread: the issues of vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame. They are issues that she has spent years researching and which have led her to a profound truth: Vulnerability – the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome – is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy.
Brené’s yearning to live a full and wholehearted life has inspired her three most recent books, which she sums up as:
- The Gifts of Imperfection – Be you.
- Daring Greatly – Be all in.
- Rising Strong – Fall. Get up. Try again.
We aren’t affiliated to this book; we are sharing it because we feel it is of value.
Overcoming the fear of failure
We can highly recommend all three books but if you have issues with failure (and who hasn’t?), Rising Strong is a must-read. In it Brené is open and honest about her own struggles, and how she worked through those to gain a better understanding of herself. She shares the idea that if, inevitably, we’re all going to stumble and fall, we shouldn’t be afraid to feel pain, hurt and discomfort. And that it’s the process of rising up again, regaining our footing in the midst of struggle, and dealing with our emotions that’s most important, as this is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. In her opinion: “Rather than gold-plating grit and trying to make failure look fashionable, we’d be better off learning how to recognize the beauty in truth and tenacity.”
According to Brené, regardless of situation or circumstance, the rising strong process is the same:
(1) The reckoning – walking into our story: recognise emotion and get curious about what we are feeling as this connects with how we think and behave.
(2) The rumble – owning our story: get honest about the stories we’re making up about our struggle/s and challenge them to determine the truth.
(3) The revolution – write a new ending to our story based on the key learnings from our rumble. Use this braver story to change how we engage with the world and transform the way we live, love, parent and lead.
In chapter one, The Physics of Vulnerability, Brené talks about the ten Rules of Engagement for Rising Strong, and I especially love number 9: Courage is contagious. By sharing her own stories Brené reminded me that every single one of us is vulnerable – regardless of who we are and what we’ve achieved. She goes on to say: “In my work I’ve found that moving out of powerlessness, and even despair, requires hope. Hope is not an emotion: It’s a cognitive process… hope is learned.”
“We can’t rise strong when we’re on the run” ~ Brené Brown, Rising Strong
This week we challenge you to think about how you can be braver in your own life: What are you most afraid of? What’s the story you’re carrying behind those emotions and experiences? Are you willing to question that story?
We hope that this book empowers you to rise strong, recognize your story, and rumble with the truth until you get to a place where you think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how the story ends. You can pick up your copy of Rising Strong here.
