“I’m too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.” – Unknown
12 years ago a good friend lent me a book that changed my life. I was 22 and in a job I hated and a relationship I’d outgrown. “Read this,” he said. “It really makes you want to get out there and go for it.” I couldn’t really see what it had inspired him to do until he dropped the bombshell: “I’m moving to America! I’ve booked my flight and I’m going to write.”
That night I read Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers, and my eyes were opened. For far too long I’d been worrying that somehow life would come back and bite me if I dared to chase my dreams.
I asked myself: ‘what’s the worst that could happen if I changed my life?’ . My head was filled with uncertainty. ‘What if I’m making a big mistake…?’, ‘what if I’m not good enough?’ and ‘what if I end up miserable?’. When I really thought about it, my fears boiled down to a lot of ‘what ifs’ – things that hadn’t even happened – and probably wouldn’t anyway! And then I asked myself ‘and what’s the best that could happen?’. I felt so excited imagining how my life could look if everything worked out. If the book had taught me anything it was that whatever happens, well somehow I’d handle it! That was it, my decision was made.
I can’t say I quit my job the next day, but I did a couple of months later. I felt the fear. I ended my relationship, sold my house and moved to Liverpool to train as a journalist, and the rest is history.
The fact is that fear can be paralysing: it can consume our thoughts; it can keep us in situations that make us unhappy; it can override all other feelings, logic and priorities, and ultimately; it can prevent us from being our genuine authentic selves and fulfilling our true life’s purpose. And yet at the same time it can be extremely valuable: an incredible source of power that can uncover our hidden strengths, fuel our passions and inspire the way we live.
Moving through fear
As Jeffers explains, there are different types of fear, but the simple belief that we won’t be able to handle something is usually the type that affects us the most. In order to get to a point where we can deal with anything that comes our way – good or bad – she says we need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and accept fear as a necessary part of growth.
Here are her tips…
FEAR TRUTH 1: The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow! Every time you take a step into the unknown, you experience fear. There is no point in saying, “When I am no longer afraid, then I will do it.” You’ll be waiting for a long time. The fear is part of the package.
FEAR TRUTH 2: The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and… do it! When you do it often enough, you will no longer be afraid in that particular situation. You will have faced the unknown and you will have handled it. Then new challenges await you, which add to the excitement in living.
FEAR TRUTH 3: The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and… do it! With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops. You begin feeling stronger and stronger and stronger.
FEAR TRUTH 4: Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else! This should be a relief. You are not the only one out there feeling fear. Everyone feels fear when taking a step into the unknown. Yes, all those people who have succeeded in doing what they have wanted to do in life have felt the fear – and did it anyway. So can you!
FEAR TRUTH 5: Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness! When you push through the fear, you will feel such a sense of relief as your feeling of helplessness subsides. You will wonder why you did not take action sooner. You will become more and more aware that you can truly handle anything that life hands you.
One of the many inspiring images from Do What You Love’s e-course designed to help you be brave and come alive. The next course starts September 15th 2014.
What’s holding you back right now? What are you afraid of? What’s the best case scenario? Focus on that! Remember, your greatest success lies just outside your comfort zone so go ahead – feel the fear, do it anyway and unlock your true potential.
Rachel
