Totally in love with this little man – my lovely new baby nephew. He is just a week old, and very tiny but just perfect. So lovely to spend some time with family, indulging in the preciousness (and sheer cuteness) of of this new little life. Can’t believe our own baby will be here in just three months!
One happy auntie over here…
Mr K gets some practice in
If I reflect on my life to date all of my memories of any significance share one common element – others! My life would be empty without my friends and family to share it with.
This Christmas my life is going to change forever. I am going to become a Dad! I found out 4 months ago that Beth was pregnant. If I am honest when I first found out it seemed so surreal that I just could not comprehend what the statement – “I’m pregnant!” – meant.
This was until the 12 week scan. I sat there expecting to be nothing more than a bystander offering support when requested, until the screen came alive. I was transfixed as a little, tiny person appeared. The clarity of the spine, skull and the heart the size of a pea (most probably much smaller) pumping frantically was amazing. It took my breath away.
It was then only a matter of moments until my heart began to melt. I had heard the baby’s heartbeat! It was quick, strong and rhythmic. It was as if a small drum was being beaten from within, communicating with us. I was in awe. I am sure I just have to fall into the long line of other new fathers who have experienced the same thing. The reason for me being was changing with every beat.
Later that evening I remember sitting in my office gazing out of the skylight lost in my thoughts. I was reminiscing about my own childhood. All the good times with my brothers always pour to the forefront. Yes we fought and we screamed to the world we hated each other, but hours later we would be thick as thieves and up to mischief.
All the places we lived and all the adventures we had flooded my mind. The dynamic between the three of us had changed over the years, as it must. Our interests fluctuated from action figures, computer games and bikes to sport and later on girls and alcohol. But brothers we will always remain.
The wry smile that was associated with the mischief was tinged by the realisation that the roles your siblings and more importantly your friends play when you are young is never quite the same as you get older.
When I was growing up my family lived all over the world – from Trinidad & Tobago, Hong Kong and Iraq to the not-quite-so exotic Liverpool, Manchester and Leeds. This culminated in me going to more than 15 different schools. One thing all this moving around did highlight was the importance of friends.
It was never easy at a new school. I remember always being hugely nervous on the first day, hoping my classmates wouldn’t be too unkind. I found the best way was to stay inconspicuous and not try to force friendships. I used to let time work out the details for me, and it always would. Months later the apprehension was forgotten and life was great – trading stickers, playing football in the park or downball in the quad, depending on the country.
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” – Stand by Me
I had grown up loving 80’s films. I remember being taken to the cinema for my 10th birthday to watch The Goonies. Stand By Me still remains one of my favourite films. I guess it is the narrative provided by Richard Dreyfuss that always strikes a chord with me. It revolves around the friendship of four boys and what great adventures you can have just a walk down the railway track away. OK the leeches I could do without, but the bond between friends is one very dear to my heart.
Just like my brothers the roles my friends have played in my life have varied depending upon my age and interests – from trying to catch fish and building rope swings to playing football, getting the round in and talking to girls. Importantly good friends are the ones who challenge your comfort zone more than any others.
They instinctively let you know that life doesn’t always need to be quite as serious as you believe it is when left alone. Successes and failures are put into context. You gain character and a thicker skin by taking jokes aimed at you on the chin. Of course you are always waiting for one of them to slip up so you can give it right back!
I have had the great honour of being a best man and an usher at several friends’ weddings, roles which I was humbled when asked to do. The friends who bestowed this honour upon me have all enriched my life more than I will ever be able to express to them.
I have met so many amazing people through the years. Some I know are friends for life. But sadly the reality is that I will never see the vast majority of them again, simply because our lives get in the way. I now have to plan months ahead to get a date in the diary, which is in stark contrast to hopping on my bike and knocking on the door. I guess this is one aspect of my life I wish had never changed. (Note to any friends reading this: our door is always open if you want to drop round for tea!)
I am transported to present day sat on our roof terrace this time gazing out to sea. I am contemplating life as a father and the challenges that lie ahead. My support now comes primarily from my wife and the prospect of creating our own family. I know my parents, brothers and friends are on the other end of the phone, Skype or a social media site. And knowing they are there is the main point, just like I am there for them.
I am truly blessed by the friends I have. I have continued to make friends throughout my life and great ones at that. As far as I am concerned I have the best friends anyone could ask for!
What aspects of your childhood do you miss the most? Do they have to be lost forever or can you get any of them back?
Until next time…
Mr K
Do you agree that happiness is the most important aspect of life?
Are you living your life? Or are you merely just existing on a daily basis?
You are the only one who can live your life!
After many hectic months with the wedding, business growth, getting pregnant, moving house, unpacking etc, we decided to take ourselves off for a little ‘babymoon’.
We went to Tenerife for a week to chill out by the pool and enjoy some glorious sunshine, in the knowledge that with a little one on the way we probably won’t be able to do this again for a while. It was such a good thing to do.
Sometimes you don’t realise just how knackered you are until you properly stop and switch off. The first couple of days we just slept on sun loungers for hours, reading, taking a dip in the pool every now and then, or wandering down to the rocks by the sea.
But then, come half way through, we started to feel that our brains were clearing, our minds were opening up, and new ideas were emerging. By the end of the week (six novels and a catamaran sail with dolphins, whales and turtles later!) we were buzzing with new ideas, plans, ways to do things differently and a new enthusiasm for everything on the horizon.
Why don’t you treat yourself to a short break this month to rediscover what fires you up, and clear your mind for new ideas and plans?
I think we would all agree with the above quote.
So what forms our original attitudes and how can we change them?
Nihon to Nihongo (On Japan and the Japanese language)
On arriving in Japan our first journey was to travel several hundred miles north from Tokyo on the overnight bus to Yamagata. My first discovery was that I was no longer a crazy student prepared to rough it to save a few quid, and the cheap option of the overnight bus was not proving a good decision! They are not designed for men in their 30s over 6 foot tall.
Yamagata is a prefecture located in the northerly Tōhoku region on Honshu Island. It borders the Miyagi region, which suffered a horrendous ordeal during the 2011 Asian Tsunami.
We arrived around 6am to be met by freezing temperatures and about a foot of snow. Had we packed right? My flip-flops and shorts were not providing much comfort at this point. Luckily we were welcomed in Yamagata by old friends, who quickly made us feel at home.
The reason we had journeyed North to Yamagata was to meet Kyoko and Adachi-san. They had been a couple that Beth had spent a year living with when she worked in Japan. (If she ever decides to write a book it will certainly blow your mind). Life’s accidental twists and turns can be both so brutal and beautiful. They are very close to this day more than 13 years later.
I remember Adachi-san telling me that his favourite part of the day was returning from work, opening a can of lager and watching the football. He was an avid Yamagata Montedio (J2 team) fan. I was discovering that life really wasn’t much different on the other side of the world!
For me, most importantly they were Beth’s friends, great hosts and I could not have asked for a better start to my new adventure. Oh, and they spoke good eigo (English) as well, which helped. Today I am honoured to call them my friends too.
But then things started to get a whole lot trickier when we left the comfort of their home and headed out into the big wide world in Kyoto…
….Arriving in Kyoto
“The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.” – Frank Herbert
For those of you who have never been to Japan, I cannot recommend a more beautiful or diverse place. It is a wonderful experience. However, it isn’t without its fear factor, mainly the language. I was not expecting the impact being essentially illiterate would have on me.
I am ashamed to say that in the first couple of weeks in Kyoto I wanted to find the quickest exit out (but couldn’t read the signs…) I was completely overwhelmed by road signs, menus, instructions and advice in a language so different to our Roman alphabet that it could be left by an alien race.
I could not believe how dependent I became on Beth. A new start was all well and good but I felt like a child again, unable to fend for myself, and I did not like it. I could not wait for school to begin so I could start to get to grips with the language.
We arrived in Kyoto and settled into our new apartment quickly. It didn’t take long to furnish our 12 square metres. A small rice cooker, two bowls and some chopsticks, done!
I had two weeks to get accustomed to my new surroundings before school was to start. Right then. What was I going to do now I have all this free time? I sat for minutes in front of Google thinking what should I type in and then I suddenly realized that I should get up and go outside! Why did I think I was going to find my answers generated by a search engine? What was I thinking? I don’t even like computers that much.
I soon discovered all the simple pleasures that Kyoto had to offer and there were plenty. Bike riding through the temples (in fact cycling anywhere), exploring weird and wonderful places, exercising by the river, reading, cafes and restaurants, onigiris (rice balls stuffed with things like tuna and wrapped in seaweed), Starbuck’s caramel frappucinos (a new one for me) and most importantly loads of free time!
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” – Marcel Proust
One of the beauties of Kyoto was getting under its skin and understanding Japanese life (which can take time). Kyoto was a maze of streets consisting of houses, restaurants, shops and cafes.
Peeking behind the norens offers a world of discovery as you find small family businesses tucked away in wooden buildings selling everything from calligraphy brushes to kimonos to pots and pans.
“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” – Plato
One particular Friday afternoon will always stay in my mind. School had just finished, the heavens had opened and the rain was cascading down the busy rooves. I took off my trainers, placed them in my bag and set off home on my bike, barefoot. Within seconds I was soaked. The ride lasted approximately 20 minutes. I loved every single moment of it.
I felt cool, alive, young and free. At the few places along the route where I had to stop for traffic lights, feeling the warm tarmac under my bare feet was very relaxing and such a unique feeling.
We can’t feel like this all the time but we have to give our lives the opportunity to present such experiences. It was Kyoto in all of her majesty. The rain felt purifying as if it was washing away every care and worry I may have had. I spent the whole journey just laughing out loud all on my own. I felt like a ten year old playing outside. Priceless!
When was the last time you discovered your inner child?
Today just do something just for fun. You might enjoy it, and perhaps find out something new about yourself!
Until next time…
Mr K
Dear Orchard House,
It is with a little sadness that I write this goodbye letter, as you have been such a good friend these past three years. You have provided us with a cosy home, spaces to live, work and play, a relaxing sanctuary, walls filled with laughter and three happy Christmases. Today we are moving on to live near the sea and will miss you. If we could put you on the back of a lorry and drive you to Brighton we would, but English houses aren’t built that way…
You look a little empty with all our things removed from every room, but soon you will be filled again with new furniture, new people, new laughter.
Since we bought you we have grown a business, got engaged, married and pregnant, hosted many friends and some fun parties in the garden, made plans, decorated and redecorated, cooked many roast dinners and had many adventures. Thank you for your part in that.
Every home is a piece of our story, and you are no exception. We hope your new residents will be as happy as we have been.
Xx
And just when we thought this year couldn’t get any better…
… we discover we are having a baby! Life will never be the same and we couldn’t be happier. This feels like the most important adventure of our lives – 17 weeks and counting. It is hard to put into words what it feels like knowing there is a little person growing and developing in there. We love this little baby so much already!
The baby’s due date is December 11, which means it will be a Christmas baby. Our favourite time of year just got even more special…
This is a completely unknown world to us and we know we have so much to learn.
If you have children how did you feel when you found out? And what is your best advice for nurturing a happy baby? We’d love to know!
You just know when you have found it don’t you?! I don’t know what you think but everyone has an extra spring in their step when you are doing something that feels so right.