HEADSPACE + HEARTSPACE Page 8 of 22

Life According To Mr. K – Love to Change (2)

Posted on 2013-06-14 at 8:00 am.

The six months I spent in Japan last year was certainly one of huge change and of even greater self-discovery. It is most probably one of the most important decisions I have ever made and has been truly life changing. But surely we don’t have to disappear half way around the world every time we have an issue to work through.

I think it is important to note that I didn’t arrive in Japan and suddenly find all the answers. Far from it! It was a long and very frustrating process that eventually presented me with the questions I needed to ask myself.

It is easy to say that things have to change, but the big question is ‘How do I go about changing them?’ Herein lies the key.

I had to ask myself, “How do I want to feel in my life? What do I need to do differently to feel that way?”

The changes I sought had to come from within me. In six months’ time I was to return home. I refused to consider returning with no plan for doing things differently, and allowing all my old issues to return. I needed a long term and soul defining change.

I remember sitting on the banks of the Kamogawa (Kamo River) one morning reading a book that a friend had sent me. The book “Eat, Sleep Sit”, the autobiographical story of 30 year old Japanese businessman Kaoru Nonomura, who gave it all up to spend a year at Japan’s strictest and most revered training monastery, Eiheiji.

The book made me ask myself what do we hope to achieve by making such drastic changes. Do we hope that the magnitude of the change will be directly proportional to the effect it will have? Or is it more a case of, “If I am going to do this then I am going to really do this. Sink or swim.”

My conclusion? I’m not actually sure, but what I do know is that taking a big step to arrest the trajectory of my life gave me the time, space and energy to take more control of its direction. Making a big change means you cannot help but notice that things are different. And that can be just the wake up call we need.

I found some parallels with Nonomura’s story and what I was hoping to achieve, but there was one major difference. If I was to succeed I needed to be realistic. I needed to appreciate that some changes may take a while. And I needed a plan. I wasn’t running away, I just needed to catch my breath.

“Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed”

– Irene Peter

We seem to put a lot of emphasis on changing location to help us make changes. This can help in certain situations, but it is definitely not the only way. In fact to make real soul defining changes we need to build on what we discover whilst away and find a structure that will work for us.

Surely we can find inspiration anywhere and everywhere – we just need to give ourselves the opportunity and more importantly the time to spot it!

If you could escape from your daily life, where would you go and why? Is there any way you can make that happen? It doesn’t have to be this week – it could be in the next year? Or the next five years? I’d like to hear about it.

Until next time…

Places and Spaces – Our Garden

Posted on 2013-06-12 at 1:47 pm.

Written by Beth Kempton

Welcome to ‘Places and Spaces’, our Wednesday column where we share places we go to think, get inspired, or come alive. The environment around us has such a bearing on how we feel, and sometimes a change of scene can make a world of difference to your perspective, thought process, or decisions.

Today I want to share somewhere very special to us both and somewhere I have rediscovered and found a new appreciation for recently. Our garden!

Since beginning my new venture with Do What You Love I have found myself working from home for the majority of the week. Much of that time is spent behind the computer. This is not something I have been used to as in my previous career I spent a lot of time on construction sites. This time outside always – by myself or laughing with my team, along with a big dose of fresh air – helped me put into perspective any problems or issues that I was dealing with at the time.

I had wondered how I would replace this valuable and necessary escape time whilst working at home. The answer presented itself in the form of our garden. It provides great sanctuary away from the computer, whether it is fending off the dreaded bindweed, rustling amongst the ferns and flowers or providing a thirst quenching drink to the plants.

I find it particularly comes alive for me whilst watering it. The sun glistens off the varying shapes of leaves and the colours are enhanced. For a few fleeting moments I forget about everything else other than the garden itself.

The garden provides so many different perspectives with a different treat in store depending where you choose to look.

I love our sunken table – the perfect place for outdoor meetings, dinner and chats, or gatherings of friends. A fair few big decisions have been made in this wooden oasis, usually with a glass of wine in hand.

I certainly never have thought I would enjoy gardening. To care for and nurture the garden provides respite from the world around me. One I would not have discovered without changing other aspects of my life.

Where is your sanctuary? Where do you go to escape from the hustle and bustle?

Change vs transition

Posted on 2013-06-11 at 6:05 pm.

Written by Beth Kempton

Inspired by Jennifer Lee’s latest newsletter, Mr K and I were having a chat today about the difference between ‘change’ and ‘transition’.

As we started packing boxes for our next house move in three weeks’ time, here are some of the things we pondered:

‘Change’ is often an event, whereas ‘transition’ is often the period of time running up to that event as you prepare for it, and following that event as you settle into it.
The word ‘change’ feels huge and in-your-face. ‘Transition’ feels more subtle.
Change seems sudden. Transition seems gradual.
‘Change’ sounds like a destination. ‘Transition’ sounds like a journey.
Change seems practical or physical. Transition is more emotional.
To make a change you usually have to stop doing something, start doing something, or do something differently. And it can be forced upon you. This often takes a sackload of courage. To make a transition perhaps you can be more gentle on yourself, take baby steps, and test the water as you go.

With both change and transition you end up somewhere you weren’t before. And that’s exciting, but can be scary! From the many changes we have gone through over the past few months, we have found that the following really help:

Know what you want to be different after the change. Keep reminding yourself of this when things get tough.
Have a plan for making the change, and handling the emotional transition.
Be aware that these things usually take longer than you expect.
Expect to feel disoriented, a little in limbo, or nervous. Being uncomfortable for a while can lead to great things.
Talk to someone about it. You don’t have to go through it on your own. And if someone is sharing the journey, that is even more fun!
Take a moment to reflect on what has gone past before you leap into the change.
Celebrate your new beginning.

How about you? What do you think is the difference between change and transition? And how have you handled the big changes in your life?

Thought for the Week (16)

Posted on 2013-06-10 at 8:00 am.

Written by Beth Kempton

I think Wayne Dyer is on to something very important here. Maybe every now and again it would be worth asking someone else what they see? And then try looking at things from a different perspective.

Do you agree?

Honeymoon (2): Castel Monastero in Tuscany

Posted on 2013-06-09 at 12:35 pm.

Written by Beth Kempton

After Florence we headed off into the Tuscan countryside for some chill out time in a beautiful old converted monastery. I had read about Castel Monastero in several ‘luxury spa’ and ‘best hotels’ books – the name kept popping up again and again so we decided to try it out. The place was perfect for us after the manic few weeks that precede a wedding. It was so peaceful and relaxed, giving us plenty of time to reflect on the brilliant time we had at our wedding, as well as talk about the kind of marriage and life we want to share in the years ahead.

We borrowed the hotel’s bikes and cycled past the olive groves surrounding the estate, soaked in the spa (which we had completely to ourselves, complete with strange dead sea salt bath) and then came back to the stunning hotel bar for very welcome cocktails!

One of my favourite parts of this section of our honeymoon was the stunning Gordon Ramsay restaurant in the basement of the hotel. ‘Cantina’ is built inside a vaulted wine cellar, reached down a narrow set of uneven stone steps lit only with candles.

These photos don’t really do the place justice. It was so atmospheric and the food was divine, paired with delicious wines from the hotel’s own vineyard. They happily made things to order if what you fancied wasn’t on the menu, and nothing was rushed. We ended up eating here three times!

We discovered the best creme brulee in the world…

While at Castel Monastero we also hired a driver and went on a long tour of the local vineyards. Such fun! More on that in my next honeymoon post…

Every day of our honeymoon felt like a precious gift of time to relax, soak up the beauty of the Italian countryside, and spend time together. We are grateful to our families and wedding guests who contributed to our honeymoon as our wedding present. The gift of travel was the perfect gift for us.

You can read my other honeymoon posts here: (1) Florence / (2) Castel Monastero / (3) Winetasting in Tuscany / (4) Borgo Santo Pietro / (5) Pasta masterclass / (6) Pisa and home

Places & spaces: The canal boat cafe and book shop

Posted on 2013-06-05 at 8:48 am.

Written by Beth Kempton

Welcome to ‘Places and Spaces’, our new Wednesday column where we share places we go to think, get inspired, or come alive. The environment around us has such a bearing on how we feel, and sometimes a change of scene can make a world of difference to your perspective, thought process, or decisions.

Today I want to share somewhere I discovered recently when stepping out of the office, hopping on a train and going to London for the day. I was there researching a super-secret new project with Rachael Taylor, and we decided to walk between tube stations taking a detour by a canal. And look what we discovered – a travelling cafe and bookshop, in two separate barges moored alongside each other! It didn’t take much to persuade us to stop and have our meeting with a slice of cake and a steaming cup of tea, sat inside the floating cafe.

When we found the boats they were near Angel Tube but they never stay in one place for more than a week. Ahh life on a canal boat…

‘Word on the Water’ canal boat bookshop

Canal boat cafe

Who says you have to be stuck in a boring office to get productive work done?

Where is the most inspiring place you have ever had a meeting?

Do What You Love Interview – Cat Mills

Posted on 2013-05-30 at 9:00 am.

Written by Beth Kempton

Today’s rather unusual Do What You Love interview is with Cat Mills, a film-maker and writer. Cat is naturally drawn to the bizarre and seeks out the unconventional from every corner, whether that is attending gathering of UFO conspiracy theorists or battling it out tooth and nail at La Tomatina, the world’s largest food fight. This is what led her to start her web series, Wicked and Weird Around the World. In the series Cat travels around the globe in search of some of the strangest festivals, competitions and celebrations known to man.

1. How are you leading a life ‘doing what you love’?

I’ve always been fascinated by subcultures, festivals and everything that is different. With this project I get to travel, explore, learn and express – and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m also getting back to my filmmaking roots, which I had somehow misplaced along the way. It feels good to be creative.

2. What did you do before this?

Prior to Wicked and Weird, I worked for an international film sales company in London for 4 years where I worked in the office and travelled to the Cannes and Berlin Film Festivals. Before that I worked in Vancouver in film production under a national mentorship program with the CFTPA (Canadian Film and Television Producers Association, now known as the CMPA).

3. What was you a-ha moment that pushed you to change / realise your passion in life?

My epiphany was a long time coming. It hit critical levels when my old company was in the process of being bought out. It left me uncertain of my future and forced me to ask myself what it was that I really wanted to do. I had enjoyed film sales, but it wasn’t my passion. Ironically, the idea for the project came from a job application. In it you had to pitch a TV show idea, so I pitched a series on weird festivals. I didn’t get the job, but it did inspire this idea, which grew on me more and more until I was in love with it. I quit my job in August 2012 and have been busy working on Wicked and Weird Around the World ever since.

4. How did you make it happen?

My partner received a job offer in Malta around the same time that I was considering leaving my job. When we looked into it, we discovered that the rent was far cheaper in Malta than it was in London, which would make it easier financially as I worked to launch the project. I also made sure to tell everyone what I was doing so that I couldn’t chicken out of it. You need support to pursue your dreams and I’m very fortune to have some incredible friends, and my partner, at my side. The important thing is to keep going and not to stop, despite your inner critic.

5. What has been your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it?

The biggest challenge for me as always been deciding what I want to do and then going out and doing it. Achieving things, once you set your mind to it, is not nearly as challenging as that first step. It’s not an easy question, but taking the time to learn about yourself and what makes you happy is the most important thing you can do and giving yourself permission to do it is incredibly important. Making that initial leap of faith and going for it was my biggest challenge.

6. Who is your role model and why?

My family members are my role models; they’ve all shown such strength and diversity in their talents, passions and abilities. It is probably my father who has inspired me the most in regard to this project. I remember my aunt telling me the story of how, when he was in his 20’s, he managed to convince his brother, sister in law and nieces and nephew to all venture out to a Shakespearean Night at the local restaurant, saying simply “We have to do this”. Everyone made the crappiest makeshift costumes they could find with barbeque skewers as swords and headed out, only to find that half the people weren’t dressed up and the other half were in proper Shakespearean outfits. Regardless, out of everyone at the restaurant they had the most fun. I saw the same adventurous spirit in my sister when she convinced me to go to the Burial of the Sardine while we were in Spain. It’s that spirit that keeps me doing it.

7. What is the best advice you have received?

A friend once told me to always trust your gut. Your heart will deceive you. Your brain will try to justify it. But your gut always knows what the score is. She was right. It’s your intuition. It’s advice that I have applied to both my personal and professional life; keeping me safe and moving in the right direction.

8. What keeps you awake at night?

Our kitten. He keeps attacking my feet.

9. And what gets you up in the morning?

The desire to keep moving and get through my agenda. And that first pot of tea…it keeps me going! Finding these festivals is a bit like a drug. There isn’t enough time in the day to get it all done!

10. What is the big dream for your business?

The big dream is to reach a wide international audience and get the whole series funded, possibly for television. I’m receiving a great deal of support from festival organisers and tourist boards, which is really encouraging. I’d also like to see more people attending these festivals and doing something a bit off colour.

[All images courtesy of Cat Mills.]

To find out more about Cat connect on Facebook, twitter and Pinterest.

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Click here for more interviews with inspiring people doing what they love.

Honeymoon part 1 – Florence

Posted on 2013-05-24 at 9:21 am.

Written by Beth Kempton

And so to the honeymoon story… After our brilliant wedding (pictures of which are coming soon), we headed off to Italy for our honeymoon. I don’t know what it is about the word ‘honeymoon’ but it has a dreaminess about it which perfectly describes how you feel when you are on one.

We flew into Pisa and took a train through the Italian countryside to Florence, a beautiful city packed with history and art at every turn.

We only had one night in the city, so spent many hours walking the cobbled streets, strolling through the Boboli Gardens, basking in the sunshine and eating gelato.

Borgo San Jacopo inside Salvatore Ferragamo’s beautiful Hotel Lungarno where we stayed

We had promised ourselves that we would eat and drink whatever delicious feasts we fancied while away, so we started with dinner at Borgo San Jacopo, a fine dining restaurant I had visited on my own a few weeks before Mr K and I first met.

Back then, as I sat by the window overlooking the River Arno shortly after my 30th birthday I made a promise to myself that when I met the love of my life I would bring him here – so it was the perfect place to start out Italian honeymoon.

You should have seen Mr K’s face when the ‘amuse bouche’ appeared as a gift from the chef. I think he thought this was the world’s tiniest starter (or some kind of culinary joke – but it tasted delicious!)…

Pop back soon for Honeymoon part 2, when we venture into the Italian countryside for a taste of Tuscany…

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You can read my other honeymoon posts here: (1) Florence / (2) Castel Monastero / (3) Winetasting in Tuscany / (4) Borgo Santo Pietro / (5) Pasta masterclass / (6) Pisa and home

Wedding photos – sneak peek!

Posted on 2013-05-19 at 11:21 am.

Written by Beth Kempton

Spending this Sunday morning going through our wedding photos. Brings back such happy memories… It was such an amazing day. Here’s a little sneak peek!

A flood of photos coming soon – hen do, wedding and honeymoon, with all the details – can’t wait to relive it all

Beth x

[All images: NavyBlur]

Gardening / procrastinating

Posted on 2013-05-03 at 5:05 pm.

Written by Beth Kempton

You know when you have been away from something for a while, and things have piled up, and somehow you need to attack the mountain but just can’t bring yourself to do it? That’s what it feels like with blogging right now. I have SO much to share with you after an incredible few weeks off for my wedding and honeymoon – we were showered with love and I don’t know enough ways to say thank you to so many different people. But somehow it is hard to know where to begin!

So I am going to ease myself in gently with this little musing about gardening, and tell myself that I’m not really procrastinating about sharing everything else…

Last summer brought so much rain to the North of England that our garden became an explosion of green. The black bamboo has gone wild and shoots way up into the sky. The wisteria has climbed thick across the canopy which hangs over our little sunken table. And there are lots of (pretty) weeds around. So we decided to do some gardening – starting with getting rid of the old water feature put in by the previous owners of the house, and replacing it by a sawn-off beer barrel filled with pink and white pansies.

Doing physical work in the garden felt so good – I loved picking away at the earthy compost with radio tunes wafting through the air. I felt like I had earned my achy back, and the cups of tea tasted even better outside.

I think the thing I liked the best was the fact that my head pretty much emptied of anything while I was working with the soil. My head is normally a very busy place, so it was a kind of meditation to me.

I have to confess I know very little about gardening, but I would love to learn more. Our neighbours are fantastic, dedicated gardeners who spend hours and hours plucking and trimming, sweeping and nurturing, and their garden looks gorgeous as a result. Maybe this can be a new hobby for me in the years ahead? Anything that wears the body but relaxes the brain sounds like a good tonic to me.

Are you green fingered? What is it you love about gardening? Any top tips for a novice like me?