HEADSPACE + HEARTSPACE Page 5 of 22

Broken your new year’s resolutions already? Here are 8 smart ways to get back on track

Broken your new year’s resolutions already? Here are 8 smart ways to get back on track DWYL BLOG SHIFT 650X250PX LR

 

Apparently more than 25% of us who made new year’s resolutions will already have broken them, due to a scientific phenomenon called ‘False Hope Syndrome’. I think that might be just about the most depressing name for a syndrome I have ever heard! Anyway, if you are one of them, don’t worry. We’ve put together eight smart ways to get back on track. (Number 3 is a quirky favourite). Let us know how you get on!

5.DWYL_HAPPIER_550X300PX_LR

1 Take a deep breath, make yourself a nice cup of tea and say, “It’s OK, each day is a new chance to start again. So let’s start again, starting today.”

Just like that. Simple. Beating yourself up gets you nowhere. And anyway, what does it matter that you missed a day of doing X or not doing Y. The most important thing is sticking to it most of the time.

2 Track your progress.

Find a way to focus on what you DID do, rather than what you didn’t. I have started running again, having not run more than a couple of times in two years. I really don’t like the bit that involves achy muscles, but I love the feeling of being free in the fresh air. I have a cool run tracking app on my phone which tells me when I have done a personal best, and makes me feel proud even if I just ran around the blog. There are several out there including Runkeeper, Mapmyrun, Strava, Endomondo and Nike+ running.

3 Forget about regular January 1 New Year and go for Chinese New Year instead.

This falls on February 8, so you have plenty of time to make plans, make space and commit. 2016 is the year of the Monkey. To be more specific, it’s the year of the Red Fire Monkey. Traditionally Chinese New Year was held before farm work began again, and was a time of preparation for the year ahead. Sounds good to us, and we always like an excuse to eat some tasty Oriental dumplings.

4 Make better resolutions.

I mean ones that are in the context of doing what you love, not goals in a vacuum. If you need help with this try our free New Year’s Revolution toolkit.

5 Remind yourself that change takes time, and commitment, and baby steps.

Overnight successes don’t really happen overnight. So get clear on the changes you want to make, but be realistic about how you are actually going to make them happen. If you need help with this try our free L.E.A.P. 10-day mini-course on taking action

6 Be less extreme.

Quitting something altogether is a bold move, but is an awful lot harder than cutting back, or cutting something out slowly. (But if you really want to be bold, go for it. The stakes are higher, but so are the rewards. And if it doesn’t work out, try again. You might like this piece from Forum for the Future on how to make success out of failure.)

7 Make a conscious effort to change the patterns in your day that put you in the way of temptation.

If your resolution is to do with eating less cakes, take a different walk home so you don’t walk past the cake shop etc. It’s obvious, but one of those things we so often forget to do!

8 Join us for the Do What You Love e-course starting next Monday, where you will be part of a community of people from all over the world, carving out their personal path towards doing what they love at work, and in the rest of their life.

If you are looking for a new direction, want a new challenge or feel like it’s time you took control of your life again, this is the course for you. I am hands on during this five week course, and am there for you every step of the way. Here’s a short video about the course if you want to know more:

DWYL vid ss

You can still register here but hurry, class begins on Monday January 18! (Note: This is the last time this class will run until late 2016).

Be kind to yourself this year!
Beth and team

What does living a simple life mean to you?

DWYL_CELEBRATESIMPLELIFE_BLOG_800PX_LR

“Joy is in the detail… the spice in your egg nog, grass sparkling with frost. There is happiness in moments – of quiet by the tree, in a distant peal of bells. Acts of kindness capture it; family traditions preserve it. Savour it your own way, perhaps curled up on the sofa, making decorations or stepping out in the wintry air. Christmas is complete when you celebrate the simple things.” ~ The Simple Things magazine, December ’14

If you’d love to make life simpler in 2016, don’t just make yet another New Year’s resolution, start a revolution!

Our fabulous FREE resource, ‘New Year’s Revolution‘, is a practical kit to help you make 2016 the year you do what you love. Our 24-page PDF will help you extract the good from 2015, look ahead and shape your 2016 into the year you want it to be. It includes a powerful technique to help you make positive life changes to turn your dreams into reality, and make your ideas happen. Download your copy for free here and be inspired.

DWYL_NYR2016_GRAPHIC_720PX_LR

Your free 2016 New Year’s Revolution kit is here!

DWYL_NYR2016_1_650X250PX_LR-2

With the holidays rapidly approaching it’s easy to get caught up in all the busyness and festivities, and before you know it, the new year will be here. Take a few moments for yourself, before things get too hectic, to reflect on 2015 and plan ahead for 2016 to make it amazing. Our wildly popular resource ‘New Year’s Revolution’ kit is back, and it’s still free! You can download your copy here.

New Year’s Revolution: A practical kit to help you make 2016 the year you do what you love’ is a FREE 24-page PDF to help you extract the good from 2015, look ahead and shape your 2016 into the year you want it to be. It includes a powerful technique to help you make dreams into reality, and make your ideas happen.

Doing what you love doesn’t happen overnight. It is an attitude, and a way of life, and it takes courage and boldness to make the tough decisions which let you get there. It also takes thought and planning, so we have created this special gift to help you on your way. Thousands of people like you have used this resource for meaningful planning and visioning.

Don’t make yet another New Year’s resolution, start a revolution!

**UPDATE: YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE LATEST VERSION OF NEW YEAR’S REVOLUTION FOR 2017 HERE.**

Top 10 ways to say no and save time

DWYL_BLOG_EXPERT_COLUMNISTS_LAPTOP_550X200PX_LR

Fran profile NEW

This is a guest post by one of the UK’s leading experts in digital distraction and digital detox and author of The Distraction Trap: How to Focus in a Digital World, Frances Booth. Find out more about Frances here.

One time management technique we don’t use enough is simply saying no. We’re quick to say yes, giving away our time, then we wonder why we have no time left for what we want.

If you find your diary is full, or full of things you don’t want to do, then it’s time to start saying no – nicely.

People ask for our time every single day. And if we give our time away to everyone who asks for it, we end up feeling frazzled, tired and grumpy. Often it doesn’t occur to us that we have the option to simply say no.

It’s much rarer for someone to thank us for our time. But when they do, it reminds us that our time is valuable, and we need to learn to value it too.

Learning when and how to say no is a way of valuing and managing our time.

When we say no to one thing, in effect we’re also saying yes to something else. This might be yes to time to recharge, sleep and renew our energy. It might be yes to some thinking space. It might be yes to more time for ourselves, or yes to time for the people and things that matter to us.

Here are 10 key things to think about for when the answer needs to be no.

1. Something has to give

We can’t say yes to every invitation, request, message, question or demand we get – something has to give. So what should we say no to?

Look at what or who you’re saying yes to at the minute. What or who (including yourself) does that mean you are then you saying no to? Is your diary full of things that fill you with great anticipation? If not, how can you make it so? What do you need to start saying no to? Look at how you spend your time, including time online. Are you happy with what you are saying yes to by how you spend your time?

2. Instant answer

Often we make poor decisions when we’re distracted, overloaded and too busy. Perhaps you recognise them … those things you say yes to, and then instantly regret. What happens next? We try and backtrack, spending far too long undoing the commitment or rescheduling, using up extra time before the event has even happened. Or, the appointment sits in our diary like a black cloud, and we spend time wishing we didn’t have to go.

Next time you feel pressure to give an instant answer, stop. Log out of your email or leave the room. Shut your eyes for five minutes, walk round the block, or sleep on it. Think about whether you really want to say yes. Think about whether you’ve really got the time for it. Pausing before responding uses far less time than it takes to backtrack.

Photo: North CharlestonAre you always racing against time? Saying no more could be the solution (Photo: North Charleston)

3. Delayed response

“I’ll check and get back to you” is a great way to buy yourself some thinking time and avoid making an instant commitment you might regret. This gives you time to decide whether to say yes and also to decide when is a good time for you if you are committing to dates. Most people will accept this as an entirely reasonable response. It implies you are checking with your diary or another person. It doesn’t fix you to a timeframe by which you need to reply, and it buys you the thinking time you need.

4. Time out

When you turn off digital distractions such as email, your smartphone and social media, you’re saying no to people being able to contact you as and when they please. Instead, you’re deciding to show up online at a time convenient to you. This is a simple way to say no thanks to unwanted interruptions. Yet we don’t always make the most of our ability to be in control here. In my book, The Distraction Trap: How to Focus in a Digital World, I give advice on how to do this and how to be more productive in a digital world.

5. Would you do it tomorrow?

This is a great test of whether you actually want to say yes or no. Would you do it tomorrow, given the chance? If the answer is yes, then great, say yes. It shows you are enthusiastic about spending your time on this. If the answer is no, beware of saying yes. Just because you put something in your diary for three weeks’ time, it won’t become any more attractive by then.

6. On hold

Sometimes, what we need to say rather than no is not now. If someone approaches you with an idea, venture or suggestion that you are interested in, but you just don’t have the headspace to consider it because it’s a particularly busy time, say so. Be specific. For example: “This is a busy fortnight, please can you contact me again after June 27th”. This means it’s back on their To Do list and you can forget about it. If, instead, you try to tackle it there and then, you risk becoming overloaded, not doing a very good job, or making a bad decision.

7. You don’t need to know what the space is for

If you’re feeling overloaded and overwhelmed, then say no to the next commitment that is asked of you. You don’t need to know what the space you are leaving is for. Maybe you are going to fill the space with what seems like nothing – things like sleeping, stopping or having a rest. But these ‘nothing’ times are vital. They mean we can restore our energy and then enjoy the other things we have put in our diary. Nothing times mean we can rest and think and then be productive and innovative when we turn back to our work. If necessary write ‘nothing’ in your diary to make sure you leave the space.

8. Swerve time-wasters

Have you ever worked with someone who wasted endless amounts of your time even on simple tasks? People like this don’t value your time, or their own. So saying no to working with them at the outset will save you an awful lot of time. How can you spot the signs of this early on and avoid getting pulled in to a project with them?

Classic early signs of a time-waster are arranging an initial call or meeting and then cancelling it at the very last minute. Here, they’ve already wasted your time – you’ve prepared, arranged your diary to fit around the call or meeting, and perhaps even shown up in person. Yet they think nothing of re-arranging. Other early signs are that they say they will send documents by a certain time and then don’t, or that they send long rambling emails. Say no politely to the project, explaining for example, that your work commitments have changed (they have – you have just made yourself some valuable time you can now use!).

9. Always saying yes equals burnout

If you work for yourself – for example, as an entrepreneur or freelancer – there can be a temptation to say yes to every project and client, due to the fear that work will dry up. But never saying no can lead to exhaustion and burnout. It can also mean that while you are busy doing the ‘drudge’ work you never get round to the work that makes your heart sing, the reason you do what you do in the first place. Saying no can be really, really difficult in these situations – particularly if you don’t know yet what will come along instead. So you shouldn’t underestimate the powerful steps you are taking when you do say no. Every now and then, let go of the kind of work you don’t want to be spending your time on by saying no. You leave space then for stepping up, getting, and doing the work that really deserves your time.

10. “I’d love to, but …”

How do you go about saying no politely, protecting your time without offending other people? Here are a few suggestions.

“I simply haven’t got time right now.”

“I simply haven’t got time this week / month” (if you want to consider it next week/month)

“I’ll be back in touch after x, y, or z to sort something out” (for delaying)

“I’d love to but I’ve got other work/family/sporting commitments right now.”

“It’s a no I’m afraid. But thanks for asking me.”

Got a good suggestion? Heard a great no? Leave them in the comments box below…

Save

Stressed? Try slowing down

DWYL_BLOG_EXPERT_COLUMNISTS_LAPTOP_550X200PX_LR

This is a guest post by one of the UK’s leading experts in digital distraction and digital detox and author of The Distraction Trap: How to Focus in a Digital World, Frances Booth. Find out more about Frances here.

Frances Booth profile

It’s easy to get into the cycle of thinking we need to go faster, faster, faster all the time.

“It’s so slow …”, we complain, if a web page takes an extra half-second to load. “I haven’t got time for this …”, we think, tensing up, if we’re forced to wait in a queue.

We’re busy, we’re stressed, and we’ve got too much to do.

But what happens, if, instead of always trying to go faster, we consciously and deliberately slow everything down?

I’m not talking about huge changes. I’m talking about slowing things down just a fraction.

So you might take a second longer to put on your shoes before you rush out of the door, spend a moment more looking at the scenery as you walk, or consider for a few seconds the task you’re about to launch in to.

One technique that can help you slow down in this way is consciously naming (in your head) each object as you come across it. So “bowl, milk, cereal, spoon” as you have your breakfast, for example.

Of course you don’t have to carry on like this all day long. But it can be a useful technique if you need a reminder or a way to shift down a gear from rush, rush, rush mode.

By slowing things down just a tiny bit, and doing things deliberately, we can shift our awareness. We become focused in the present moment, rather than our thoughts racing ahead or repeating past events on a loop. This can calm us down.

5603681683_845729d4b2_bImage credit: Andrés Nieto Porras

Sometimes we try and go faster, faster, faster just because everyone else is.

Often it’s because we want to cram more in to each day. I’m all for productivity. But there’s such a thing as going too fast, trying to fit in too much. This can leave us overwhelmed and overloaded. We need to know how to keep a balance, and slowing down a fraction is one way to do this.

It’s when we’re most stressed and busiest that we need to step back the most. Yet the challenge arises because it’s precisely at this point that we feel like we have no time at all to stop. We feel like we literally don’t have five minutes to spare, and the smallest task added to our workload can utterly overwhelm us. In this state of mind, it can be hard to catch ourselves long enough to even realise that slowing down would help. We’re on automatic …

Sometimes we operate at top speed for too long just because we’ve become stuck in that mode.

So when we’re stressed, a few seconds here and a few seconds there of slowing down, can shift our awareness and bring us into the present moment.

It can make us wonder; why were we in such a rush?

A little inspiration to help you relax

DWYL_BLOG_WORDCLOUD_LOVE-TO-RELAX_OCTOBER-2015_550PX_LR

 

Download a high res version to print here.

ZEN FOR TEN

Are you always rushing from one thing to the next, trying to get through your neverending to-do list, trying to outwardly multitask with confidence, whilst inside you’re wondering when the spinning plates are all going to come crashing down? Do you find yourself so busy that there doesn’t seem to be any time for the simple things these days – for laughter, and joy and conversation?

Well, I can assure you that you are not alone. Sometimes life gets so hectic we hardly have time to think, let alone dream and plan the road towards doing what you love.

As founder of Do What You Love and author of ‘Freedom Seeker: Live more. Worry less. Do what you love.’, I know as well as anyone that it can be hard to tune out the noise and listen to what we really want to offer the world.

So that’s why I’ve created ‘Zen for Ten’ – a ten day challenge to help you slow down, tune in and light up.

It will help you be more present, get quiet and focus. It will help you see more beauty. It will let you travel lighter. And it will get you on the road to doing what you love, for life.

Join me to breathe more deeply, live more slowly and appreciate life more during this special ten days. Sign up HERE, then check your inbox for all the details and get ready to begin.

A little inspiration to help you relax DWYL ZENFORTEN DAY1 550X250PX V2

Save

What’s going on – our guide to thought-provoking + life-changing events this month

What’s going on – our guide to thought-provoking + life-changing events this month DWYL BLOG GREATESCAPE 650X250PX LR 1

To kick off this month’s theme, ‘Love to Relax’, we want to let you know about some inspirational events that are happening across the world this October.

1) YESTIVAL (Surrey, UK)

October 23 – 25, 2015

At Do What You Love all our work is driven by our core values: Freedom, Bravery, Purpose, Authenticity and Connection. So when an event comes along that encapsulates everything we believe in we just have to shout about it!

This month our friend and DWYL Alchemist Dave Cornthwaite, is organizing such an event… welcome to YESTIVAL!

YestivalPromoTile

Yestival is a brand new event set in the stunning Surrey countryside with around 200 people who are ready to instigate small lifestyle choices that ultimately lead to big changes. Boasting over 30 lectures, workshops and activities on subjects ranging from adventure, working around the world, podcasting and biodiversity, this event is stacked with brainfood to get your motivational cogs turning.

If you’re ready for an autumnal recharge and love the idea of campfires, making new friends, relaxing in peaceful surroundings, being inspired and generally just feeling warm and fuzzy inside, grab your ticket now or visit www.sayyestival.com for more information. There’s no better way to spend a weekend in October.

2) Yoga and Detoxification: Mind & Body Sayulita (Haramara Retreat, Mexico)

October 17-24, 2015


Imagine being completely de-stressed and feeling calm, healthy, refreshed, and at peace. Imagine doing daily yoga classes in an open-air palapa in the jungle and learning tools for daily health transformation. Imagine enjoying nourishing whole foods and freshly squeezed juices to rejuvenate your soul. Imagine swimming in the sparkling blue ocean, and laughing with new friends. This is life at the Haramara Retreat.

Haramara retreatImage credit: Haramara Retreat

Run by Dr. Lynn von Schneidau, Naturopathic Physician and Eiric Ovrid, yogi this seven-day break is for anyone who wants to detoxify, heal and revive their spirit, regain energy and vitality, balance their hormones and emotions, calm their thoughts and embark on a voyage of self-discovery in a beautiful serene environment. Find out more here.

3) The world’s first mindfulness summit

October 1 – 31, 2015

Melli O’Brien of MrsMindfulness.com has gathered over 30 of the world’s leading experts on meditation and mindfulness for a series of online interviews, practice sessions and presentations, which you can watch for FREE from the comfort of your own home!

The Mindfulness Summit is a not-for-profit project with a mission to make mindfulness mainstream. Their aim is to make high quality mindfulness training accessible to everyone and support mindfulness-based charities at the same time. Watch this video to find out if the summit is for you.

It’s not too late to take part in The Mindfulness Summit. Click here and sign up today.

***

Taking chances quote

We know it can be a little scary to try something different but when you find a community or a ‘tribe’ that understands you it can be incredibly inspiring and motivating. When you surround yourself with like-minded people, who share similar values and who care about the same things, your defences come down and you are able to draw breath and relax from the inside. You can listen whilst others share their stories and wildest dreams. You may even find yourself sharing your own thoughts, motivations and hopes for the future, safe in the knowledge that there is no judgement, only support and encouragement from people who get you. Ultimately, you discover that there’s no need to be afraid. No need to pretend. You can just be you – real, authentic, and true.

If nothing else, by venturing out of your comfort zone and trying something new you’ll have met some fascinating people and have fresh food for thought so there’ll be lots to chat about on Monday morning at work!

And if you can’t make it to any of these events, why not take your journal off somewhere quiet and answer some of these questions yourself?

  • What you really want from life? What do you want to give back?
  • How you want to feel each and every day? What could you do differently, or more often, so you feel that way?
  • Do you get annoyed at people’s (or your own) negative attitude to life? If so, what can you do about it.
  • What could you do today to make yourself more aware of the small things in life that make you happy?
  • What small changes can you make to give yourself more time each day to relax?

Let us know how you get on,

The DWYL team

Disclaimer: We are not affiliates of or involved in the running of any of the suggested events. Please contact the organisers directly with any questions or queries.

How mindfulness can bring peace of mind

BRING-YOU-PEACE_BLOG_800PX_LR

Do you find it difficult to focus? Do you worry a lot? Would you love to be able to relax more easily?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions practicing mindfulness could really help you change the way you think, feel and act.

What is mindfulness?

When you are mindful, you are able to pay attention to the present moment, and not get swept up thinking about the past or worrying about the future. It means you get to enjoy every little moment of life as it happens, and the impact of this on your mental and physical health is really positive.

According to Mindfulness expert Andy Puddicombe, giving ourselves 10 minutes of peace every day, that’s 10 minutes of doing absolutely nothing – not texting, talking or even thinking – is all we need to refresh our minds and experience the transformative power of living the present moment.

Interested in learning more? Watch Andy’s TED Talk – All it takes is 10 mindful minutes – for inspiration…

 

5 ways to fill your life with colour

Want to make life more fun, fascinating and adventurous? It’s time to shake up your world!

Getting out of the rut of your everyday routine, shifting your thinking and making small and simple changes could be all you need to put some colour back into your life.

Here are our top tips for changing things up:

  1. Be curious; make it your mission to discover new ideas, places, people, and interests
  2. Be expressive; don’t be afraid to speak your mind and communicate your feelings with others
  3. Take the initiative; don’t sit around waiting for permission to do what you love to do
  4. Be inventive; think outside the box and enjoy coming up with original ways to do things
  5. Be confident; don’t be scared to make mistakes. Act like you know what you are doing, even when you don’t!

DWYL_BLOG_WORDCLOUD_LOVE-COLOUR_SEPTEMBER-2015_550PX_LRDownload a high res version to print here.

Life According to Mr K: New Beginnings (Fatherhood and Doing What You Love)

lifeaccordingtomrk

As we enter into a New Year we first reflect on the previous year. There will undoubtedly be aspects of our life that have been exhilarating and taken a breath away. There have also been times that will have tried our patience and prompted us to ask the question ‘What am I doing this for?’

I am very aware that my 2013 was a very special year and one which I will hold dear to my heart. Of all the changes and decisions made in 2013 the greatest moment was on Christmas Day when my wife and I became parents for the first time. Sienna May Kempton was born. The moment she was placed onto my wife’s chest, all covered up, was the moment my life changed forever.

Mummy and Sienna

(more…)