CONNECTION + COMMUNICATION Page 4 of 21

Give yourself the gift of self-love this season

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This post is written by our Senior editor, Rachel Kempton.

 “When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits…anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” ~ Kim McMillen

A few days ago one of my friends reminded me that “You cannot pour from an empty jug” and it rang so true. How can you possibly take proper care of the people around you if you’re not taking good care of yourself?

Her wise words got me thinking about the importance of self-love and how it really is key to living a present, positive and happy life. After all, self-love is a state of appreciation for yourself that grows from doing things that support your physical, psychological and spiritual growth.

Of course self-love also requires self-respect – an acceptance of who you are. And there may be times in life when we find ourselves making poor decisions, facing difficult situations, or being so influenced by outside circumstances, that we act out of neither self-love nor self-respect. For example, are you loving and respecting yourself if, as a working mum, you constantly put everyone else’s needs first and burn out? Are you loving and respecting yourself if you have a “successful” career that is making you unhappy or depressed? Are you loving and respecting yourself if you’re constantly being swayed by what you should do rather than what feels right? Or, are you loving and respecting yourself if you put up with the boss who is treating you badly? The answer is, probably not.

While you can’t always control external circumstances, and how others might think, feel, or act, you can control your own mind, your own body and your own soul. You can try and be more conscious about how you treat yourself.

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Here are some things that can help you make self-love and respect a priority in your life:

  • Forgive yourself. We can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for making mistakes as we learn and grow. Accept that no one is perfect and practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember, there are no failures, only lessons learned.
  • Set boundaries and be honest with yourself, and others. You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.
  • Nourish your body. Give your body the nurturing, rest, exercise, and comfort it needs to the best it can be, after all it’s the only place you have to live! Set your intentions by writing a commitment letter to your body, telling it how you intend to love and accept it unconditionally, and practice self-care habits that support its thriving. For example:

Dear dedicated body, 

From this moment forward, I promise to feed you with healthy, clean food and positive thoughts. I will water you often. I’ll cherish the spirit you so tirelessly protect and take time out to rest. I’ll strive to understand you, to exercise and inspire your mind so that I may serve you into your old age. From this moment on, I will trust that you are the perfect vehicle for my journey through life. From this moment on, we are a team and I will repay your best with my best. 

With love, respect and deepest gratitude, Me xxx

  • Speak positively about yourself. Judgmental voices from the past may have left a hidden residue of toxic shame, which blocks us from honouring — or even noticing – what we’re really feeling. Being gentle with ourselves means accepting the feelings that arise within us. It is normal to feel sad, hurt, and afraid sometimes. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to become mindful of these feelings and allow a friendly space for them.
  • Follow your intuition. Instead of living out of your brain and ego, follow your heart.
  • Don’t settle for less than you deserve.  Get in touch with who you really are. Ask yourself: how do I want to feel in my every day life? What do I really want? What are my core values and beliefs? Who/what matters most to me? If you’d love help figuring all this out, take our life-changing Do What You Love course.

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Our thought-provoking course will help you start building a life that you love now by:

– Doing what you love, more often. Very often. In fact: daily.

– Getting paid to do what you love. (If that’s what you want — for some, it’s not. For many, it is!)

– Making your life simpler and sweeter — not busier and more complicated.

– Re-opening doors that you thought were locked shut… re-opening possibilities that you thought were long gone… and illuminating possibilities you never knew existed.

Self-love: it’s all about what’s inside

No one else can do these things for us. No one can take our vitamin pills for us, or make us speak our truth, or force us to choose the path that brings most joy. Even if we have the best partner/most loving family/most supportive friends in the world, we won’t feel happy and whole unless we create the space for it inside by practicing self-love and respect.

What do self-love and self-respect mean to you? We’d love to know! Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Back home and over £55,000 raised!

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This is our final guest post from Claire Le Hur who has just returned from an epic cycling adventure to China with her fiancé Stuart Block. The couple started their adventure in East Africa, where they followed new ‘silk roads’ to chart the journey of key natural resources as part of an exciting new education project. Claire rode a bamboo bike built by an African social enterprise, and Stuart rode a tandem, keeping the back seat free for those they met en route. They have now raised awareness and thousands of pounds for two great educational charities. Find out more about Claire’s big adventure here.

Claire Le Hur

We got back to the UK on a very cold and grey day, and the next day was Brexit and all the ensuing madness: a political revolution in London, or just more of the same on (super) fast-forward? For anyone who hasn’t seen it, you can read Stuart’s blog post from a year ago here. He wrote it as we were leaving London for our adventure and he proved remarkably prescient when he predicted a ‘bloodbath in the corridors of Westmister’.

We were starting to wonder why we had bothered to come back to England, so to take our minds off things we got back on our bikes and made sure we cycled the full 11,000km we were aiming for (we reached 10,000km in Hong Kong.) We did our own version of the ‘London Revolution’, cycling around the M25 (or a few miles outside it!), visiting schools and friends along the way.

Our route took us to several schools in Surrey, Cambridge and London as well as two days at the Telegraph/Wellington Festival of Education at Wellington College. At Wellington we addressed teachers on ‘how to bring an adventure into the classroom’ and students on ‘Overseas Aid; Who Benefits’. We were delighted to have a photo call with renowned philosopher, A. C. Grayling.

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If ever the world needed your brave heart, it is now

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Half of America and much of the world is grieving today, devastated about the future they had hoped for, which will no longer be. Our collective trajectory has shifted, but that doesn’t mean we are powerless to shape our own futures.

A couple of weeks ago I gave a talk in New York City on ‘How to talk to anyone’. It was a lesson in speaking from your brave heart, and now, more than ever, I want you to hear this. Now, more than ever, we need to be speaking from our brave hearts, and recognising the brave hearts in others. And teaching our children to speak from their brave little hearts too.

I hope this talk lifts you in these uncertain times. If you know anyone else who needs to hear this, please feel free to share it on social media using this link: https://bit.ly/2eW4wMc

Beth

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By the book… The Power of Now

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This month we read (and loved!) The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle… by Senior Editor, Rachel Kempton

Do you ever feel like you’re on a hamster wheel running at top speed but not getting anywhere? The last few months have felt a bit like that for me: the constant to-ing and fro-ing between work, family and friends; a diary packed with social commitments and obligations; and a never-ending to-do list — not to mention the incessant pings from my phone — have left me longing for some time out.

A couple of days away, and an eye-opening book later, I’d discovered where I’ve been going wrong. Not only have I been physically busy, my mind has been in overdrive too — constantly racing from one thought to the next instead of being more present.

Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now, was a timely reminder that the key to experiencing more joy in life lies simply in the here and the now. The insights I’ve gleaned from this book have been swirling about in my consciousness for the last couple of weeks. It has completely changed the way I think, act and feel.

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Here are my top three takeaways:

1. The moment is all I have

The basic principle of the book is that we don’t exist outside the Now and [Tweet “living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment.”]

At first I found this concept quite tricky to grasp as I’ve always thought of life as a line that takes us from birth to death with the present moment being a single point which moves slowly forward along it. The Power of Now shares the idea that there is no line and no defining past and future points. That the present is all we have. And that the past (which gives us identity) and future (which holds the promise of fulfilment in any form) are mere illusions which we create by imagining them in the present.

And it makes complete sense. Constantly looking ahead to the next big thing — whether it’s an event, a goal, or a dreams of a better future — and trying to control other people, situations and outcomes in the process is both stressful and draining. On the other hand when you can consciously offer no resistance to what is and allow the present moment to be just as it is, good or bad, you feel immense calm and inner peace.

2. I am not my mind

Now I try and see my mind as independent. Yes I see the thoughts racing around in there but the difference is that I know I don’t need to engage with them or react to them. Instead I do my best to stand aside, watch, and laugh at how ridiculous they are! Just knowing that they don’t define who I am or how I live my life feels incredibly liberating.

3. Problems don’t exist

Tolle explains our ‘life situation’ is not our ‘life’. Our ‘life situation’ is stuff we need to resolve, chores to attend to and relationships that need attention. But when we’ve taken care of that, we can come back to our ‘life’, our essence, our true nature and leave behind the deadening nature of ‘time created problems’ which are just a manifestation of an over busy mind.

The fact is that as long as we define ourselves in terms of our pains and problems we will never be free from them. Now I’m taking the view that unless I’m being chased by a bear, or I find myself in another potentially life-threatening situation, I actually don’t have any problems so I may as well stop worrying.

The Power of Now has helped to free me from the mind-numbing thoughts that have make me feel confused, stressed and exhausted. Yes, it takes a great deal of effort to be more consciously aware in every part of your life but the trade-off for feeling lighter and brighter is totally worth it.

Check out this animation by The Journey which explains more about all this…

About the author and the book

Eckhart Tolle wrote The Power of Now following a cataclysmic spiritual experience that he claims erased his former identity when he was 29. One evening, he was a near-suicidal graduate student, living in a Belsize Park bedsit; by the following morning, he’d been flooded with a sense of “uninterrupted deep peace and bliss” that has never left him since. That morning, he writes, “I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth, as if I had just been born.” 

Following his epiphany, Tolle has become one of the most successful spiritual author of the modern age, and Oprah Winfrey, whose championing of his books included a 10-week online seminar series watched by 11 million people, has ensured their long-term tenure on bestseller lists on both sides of the Atlantic.

You can order The Power Of Now via Amazon.uk and Amazon.com.

Meet me in New York or Helsinki? (10 inspiring, mind-expanding events for your calendar)

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Meet me in New York or Helsinki? (10 inspiring, mind-expanding events for your calendar) DWYL BLOG GREATESCAPE 650X250PX LR 1

I’ve just booked a flight to New York for next month and I’m hoping to see you there for I Am… Courage – a brand new event featuring some of my favourite storytellers, sharing new thinking for brave + truthful living.

Do you remember I mentioned I met some amazing women in Santa Fe recently? We bonded like sisters over a shared passion for freedom, bravery and truth, and decided to create a brand new event that challenges conventional thinking and inspires new ways of living. And YOU are invited!

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I Am…Courage is about redefining what it means to be successful, and how to claim the magic and magnificence that is in each and every one of us.

It takes place at Rise New York on Saturday 22 October from 2-4pm and promises to be a very special afternoon indeed. You can find all the details here:

I am honoured to share the stage with these beautiful souls: Kelly Rae Roberts, Kate Eckman, Christine Tripoli, Kathe Crawford and C Rene Washington.

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And if you can’t make it to New York, here are 9 other brilliant events taking place in the next couple of months across the world:

  • Sketch Doodle Draw from our sister site makeitindesign.com which I co-founded with designer Rachael Taylor. We are taking the team to Helsinki this weekend, to begin our celebrations of 5 years of Make It In Design. Join us for sketching and chats about creative careers (it’s free!) Helsinki, Finland (Sept 30, 2016)
  • YEStival from our friend Dave Cornthwaite Sussex, UK (Oct 21-23, 2016)
  • Start building an impact career (from two good friends, oceans advocate and adventurer Emily Penn and start up specialist Ben Keene) – London, UK (October 30, 2016)
  • Mojo Blast – Take Life, Work and Creativity to the next level (host Jamie Catto spoke at an event I was at recently and he was brilliant) London, UK (November 12, 2016)

PLUS – The Makerie at Chautaqua (Boulder, CO, USA Apr 27-30 2017)

I’m honoured to be the opening night speaker for this very special creative retreat, organized by Ali de John, a truly beautiful human. It is going to be absolutely magical. More details coming soon, but if you are interested in going it’s worth booking now as The Makerie is always a sell out!

This week I challenge you to get yourself to an event—any event—that makes you think differently and connects you to kindred spirits. Let me know how you get on!

Beth

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PS Time is running out to join the Do What You Love e-course starting October 17. This will be the last time we run this ‘life-changing’ course in 2016, so don’t miss out on this chance for a fresh start! Find out more and book your spot here.

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On speaking your truth and plans for turning 40

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On speaking your truth and plans for turning 40 dwylhq1

How was your weekend? Mine was spent in a yurt in the English countryside, with 150 entrepreneurs talking and dancing long into the night! I was invited to The Happy Startup Summercamp to talk about what it really means to do what you love in business, but feel like I came away with so much more than I gave. It was one of those very special meetings of very lovely humans, which included a lot of laughter, deep thinking, new friends, early morning secret adventures in the woods, late night disco dancing and much more besides. If this is the life of a speaker I am keen for more!

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Public speaking is one of those things that so many of us are afraid of, but I know is in my future a lot next year with the launch of my book Freedom Seeker. Rather than getting scared about it, I decided to embrace it with the largest hug that I could. And so I did the only thing there is to do – I flew to Santa Fe, New Mexico a few weeks ago, and took a class in transformational speaking from the one and only Gail Larsen. Gail has trained most of the most inspiring speakers I know – from Gabby Bernstein and Danielle LaPorte, to Kris Carr and Rebecca Campbell – so I knew it was going to be an important experience, but I had no idea just how transformational it would be.

When we arrived Gail asked us what would be a breakthrough for us. I have a good memory and like to be prepared, so although public speaking itself isn’t such a scary thing for me, speaking without a script was HUGE. As in, I-can’t-imagine-ever-speaking-unscripted-HUGE. So that would be my breakthrough. To stand up on the last day and give a 15 minute talk unscripted. And somehow, with Gail’s masterful coaching and brilliant approach, I did it. Not only did I do it, but I LOVED it. Now that’s what I call a breakthrough.I will be forever grateful to Gail and the angels who shared the experience. (I could tell you so much about the precious women who went through the breakthrough process with me, but I’m going to save that for another day, because I have so much to say… not least that we are going to be speaking together in New York in October. Stay tuned!)

But doing something in a workshop and doing it for real are two different things, right? So this weekend I tried it out for the first time at a proper event. In front of 150 people. On a stage made of hay bales, in a beautiful barn draped with fairy lights and bunting. To be honest, it couldn’t really have been more of a perfect place to learn to fly as an unscripted speaker. But I did it, and thanks to the soul-nourishing energy of the lovely people gathered there, I loved it again. It wasn’t easy. I still got nervous. I might do some things differently next time. But I got up on that stage and danced around in my cowboy boots and told some stories and had a bunch of people come up afterwards and look into my eyes and say thank you. So it was absolutely worth it.

That’s what happens when we do the hard things. And that’s why we do the hard things. Because it makes a difference to someone. Even if that person is just you.

This week I challenge you to do a hard thing, and notice what happens. And if you want to try public speaking in a soulful, story-based, self-inspiring way, talk to Gail, go visit her in Santa Fe or take the online version of her class, because she is the master.

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And finally… Turning 40 this year? Know any awesome women who are?

I am working on a very cool (currently top secret) thing to celebrate turning 40 myself in 2017, and would love suggestions for people to get involved. Only requirements are: (1) To be female (2) To be turning 40 anytime between now and the end of 2017 (3) To be a lovely human being who wants to connect with other lovely human beings.

Please email me suggestions (name/email/one sentence about them) to [email protected]. It’s totally fine to suggest yourself too, if you fit the bill!

I THANK YOU AND THEY WILL THANK YOU!

PS: Please share with a friend if they might know some awesome 40s!

Have a great week.

Beth

The key to a complete inbox detox (it’s free, and it only takes a minute!)

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Can you feel Autumn in the air? The evenings are starting to get a little chillier here, and my head is full of thoughts of apple pie. My town has been full of young people visiting for the university open day and small children looking nervous in their new school uniforms. September always feels like a time of new beginnings to me, so this week I decided to do a major detox of my inbox.

I discovered a free tool that is so brilliant I just had to share it with you, because it only takes a couple of minutes to set up, and can clear your inbox of hundreds of emails in one fell swoop. I know that having an uncluttered inbox can be the key to an uncluttered mind at work, so I do hope you will try it!

The tool is called unroll.me can be used online at www.unroll.me or downloaded as a phone app. I have no affiliation to it. I just love it! It has been around a while, as a tool for quick unsubscribing from emails you no longer want to receive, but I have just discovered they have added a new feature which makes a huge difference. It’s called ‘roll up’ and it allows you to roll up any emails you DO still want to read into a single daily email of all the newsletters you subscribe to. Genius, right? It’s so simple, and is worth a couple of minutes of anyone’s time. Happy unsubscribing and rollup-ing!

The info we take in minute-to-minute, day-to-day, fills our minds. The right info fills our minds with inspiration and sparks ideas, but so much of the info that comes at us each day is just noise. I hope this brilliant little tool helps you clear out some of the noise so you can tune in to what really matters!

This week I challenge you to do an inbox detox with unroll.me. And if you want some additional chilling out, try our free 10-day mini course ‘Zen for Ten‘ and notice the difference!

Take care
Beth

Culturally Curious – exploring Cambodia

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This is a guest post from Claire Le Hur who is cycling to China with her fiancé Stuart Block. The couple started their journey in East Africa and followed new ‘silk roads’ charting the journey of key natural resources as part of an exciting new education project. Claire is riding a bamboo bike, built by an African social enterprise, and Stuart is riding a tandem and he’s keeping the back seat free for those they meet en route. The dynamic duo are raising money and awareness for two great educational charities. You can find out more about their big adventure here.

Claire Le Hur

We saw three different sides to Cambodia, the smallest yet most interesting country in our Asian odyssey. The first side was the remains and memories of the huge and powerful Angkorian Empire 1,000 years ago. The second was the memorials and stories of the terrible Pol Pot regime three decades ago. And the third was a country desperately trying to escape its recent past and powerful neighbours and rebuild itself. Our group ride with United World Schools (UWS) really bought this hime to us. It made us realise how lucky we are and what vitally important work UWS and Beyond Ourselves in Zambia, do. The week we spent with UWS was incredibly humbling.

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Life According to Mr. K: It’s time to shape our own future…

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What a chaotic few weeks it has been for us Brits. The EU referendum generated the greatest political interest and interaction I have ever experienced, and the outcome will define our nation and society for generations. It certainly feels like our national pride and identity has taken a battering, no matter which way we voted.

Personally, I was dismayed to see the vote go the way it did, having voted ‘Remain’ myself.

Firstly, as a parent I think the opportunities for my two daughters will be diminished as a result.

Secondly, as someone who spent a lot of his childhood living abroad, I know the benefits of being surrounded and nourished by different cultures, religions and races. I find it fascinating that we refer to ourselves as ‘expats’ when we go abroad, when we are also immigrants in the same context. We seem to have definitions to suit our agenda.

Lastly, there is the ideological element. We are one human race and we have to work together, collaborate and share to overcome some of the huge global issues we are facing. We are better together, not divided.

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So what now? We have been catapulted into the unknown. We are adrift with no plan in sight. The speed in which our so-called leaders have deserted us is particularly worrying and a sorry reflection of their character. There are a few queuing up to seize power, but I’m not sure anyone is ideal for the job. I think the real leadership we need now can only be found away from the political circus.

This post is not intended to be a political rant. There was a democratic vote and the majority won, even if our entire government seems to be crumbling around our ears. What we need to do now is look ahead, and think about where to find inspiration and leadership in the future, outside of the political structures and campaigns that have created this chaos.

We have been misled and misrepresented for too long. Hugely important issues — and the people affected by them — have been used as pawns in power matches. I get so frustrated because this is not the world I see in my work. It is such a stark contrast to the amazing people we get to work alongside, and serve, and is the antithesis of the values alive in our own community.

I believe that in the absence of an inspiring, authentic and honest political leader it is time for us to step up and lead ourselves, within our communities, online and in the wider world.

We are a country oozing with class, potential, character and integrity.

More and more companies are being built primarily to forge positive change in our world. Entrepreneurial visionaries all over the country (and indeed the world) are pouring their heart and soul into work that matters. Their mission statements demand only the very best from them and their staff, but they do it because they care. The people driving these businesses do so because of a desire to make the world a better place. We need these kinds of people playing a wider role outside of their businesses, influencing society to take a look at itself and start to make different choices.

The entrepreneurial spirit that is alive in our country is one we should be hugely proud of, invest in and harness. Entrepreneurs nearly always find a way, even when up against seemingly insurmountable obstacles. They have tenacity and grit, creativity and vision. And if there isn’t a way, they will invent it. Imagine what we are capable of if we bring these qualities to all realms of our life.

When motivated, ordinary people are capable of extraordinary things.

To help them step up we need to put our trust in people who have earned it. We need to think carefully about whose example we are following, and whose behavior we are modeling. And as we start to step up ourselves, we need to share our own expertise and experience with great ease and grace, because it all helps.

I believe that this spirit is actually within all of us. We just need to find the inspiration, motivation and support to awaken it. We need to find the right communities and tribes of people that understand us, who stand for what we stand for. This is key for our growth and confidence.

Change begins within. We need to challenge ourselves to be the very best version of ourselves, and demand more of those who lead us.

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading”. Lao Tzu

With so many brilliant, honest and inspiring people in our country there is no need to feel lost or uncertain. There is no need to look only to our politicians to represent us. Instead put your faith in people you believe in. Those whose values resonate with yours. Those who challenge mediocrity and demand excellence. Those who are innovating our communities, our country and our world in a way that is better for the majority.

What could you do?

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Every day we have the power to start creating the life we want. It starts with us no one else. Check out our FREE resource – Real Wild Bio. It will allow you to start seeing just how truly amazing you are and can be.

My top 3 takeaways from an amazing festival of ideas

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A couple of weeks back I spent a few days at ‘How The Light Gets In’, an ideas and philosophy festival in Hay-on-Wye. I love that events like this are popping up all over the world, challenging our thinking, and connecting us with other people who are interested in deep conversation. 

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HTLGI was particularly special because of how intimate it felt. One afternoon I found myself sharing tea and excellent cake with one of Britain’s most celebrated pop artists, Allen Jones, the next morning I breakfasted with Jenny Boyd, a former model who hung out with the Beatles in their hey day, married a member of Fleetwood Mac and has had both George Harrison and Eric Clapton as brothers-in-law, and has gone on earn a PhD in Psychology and write a book about how rock stars tap into their creativity. In both cases there were only 10 of us around the table.

I was not expecting the heady combination of Cake + Warhol, or Croissants and The Creative Merits of LSD, but I was grateful for the opportunity!

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The whole festival had a friendly, unpretentious feeling, all teepees and delicious local food.

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People were invited to get involved in the discussion, not just listen to the speakers. I will be back, and I highly recommend it if you can get yourself there next year.

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Here are my top 3 takeaways from this festival of ideas:

(1) There was a moment in the sixties when almost everyone was divided into two camps: War / No War. You could tell which side someone was just by looking at them. You instantly bonded with people on the same side as you, and there was a strange magic in the air borne from everyone caring so much, whichever side they were on. (It’s feeling a bit like that here just a few days before the nation votes whether or not Britain leaves Europe…) These pivotal moments in time are opportunities for us to connect and contribute, and we must not let them past by without playing our part.

(2) The only way to conquer apathy is inspired leadership, and the first place to start is with yourself

(3) Everyone has something of value to offer to the conversation. Sometimes you just have to probe a little to give them the confidence to share it.

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This week I challenge you to think in big ideas, and find some interesting people around you to discuss them with. Maybe even book yourself into a festival this summer.  

Struggling to turn your ideas into reality? Try our free resource L.E.A.P. which will help you find the courage, commitment and focus to make a major leap this year, and see it through, to get your closer to doing what you love, for life.

Happy ideating!
Beth

PS We announced the winner of our ‘Reach Teach Profit’ e-course mentoring competition last week. The lucky winners were Michelle Lloyd (UK), Claire Eden (Australia) and Victoria Hackett (USA). Congratulations all!