GRATITUDE + CONSCIOUS LIVING Page 7 of 22

Replace fear with curiosity

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As anyone who’s done it knows, discovering your life’s purpose and getting on the path to doing what you love is the most incredible feeling in the world. It’s exciting, exhilarating and energising but at the same time there’s an element of fear that comes with jumping into the unknown.

You might know what you should be doing (taking brave steps forward and embracing a whole new world and everything in it) but feel afraid to act because making such bold decisions or big life changes seems risky. What if you lose what you already have by walking this new path?

Before you know it the internal conflict between what you truly want and what you already have is spiralling out of control and you find yourself stuck. Frozen by fear.

Whenever you your mind starts ruling your heart, it can help to remind yourself why you went looking for your true passion in the first place. Why is pursuing a life with meaning important to you? How did you feel when you were lost; wandering aimlessly through life? Would you really be happy doing something that doesn’t matter to you? What do you really have to lose by taking this new path? Then ask yourself:

  1. What is the best that can happen?
  2. What is the worst that can happen?
  3. What will happen if I do nothing and everything stays the same?

As Alan Watts says: “By replacing fear of the unknown with curiosity we open ourselves up to an infinite stream of possibility. We can let fear rule our lives or we can become childlike with curiosity, pushing our boundaries, leaping out of our comfort zones, and accepting what life puts before us.”  

Sometimes the only way to overcome your fear of unknown is to take the first step and do something. Turn your fear into curiosity. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

“You’re already naked, so there is no reason why  you don’t follow your heart.” ~ Steve Jobs

Is something stopping you from following your dreams? Do you want to make changes but find the process daunting? Is fear holding you back? Think about it… what are you afraid of that you should be curious about instead?

L.E.A.P.

How to start living a fear-free life

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Today’s post is from our Senior Editor, Rachel Kempton

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~ Nelson Mandela

If we could wave a magic wand and remove all your fears – every single one of them – how different would your life be? What would you do?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot since my grandpa got ill. At the ripe old age of 88 he might be frail and suffering with a brain tumour, but as he looks back on his life, he’s as positive as ever about the amazing experiences he’s had and the valuable lessons he’s learnt along the way. He talks with so much passion and pride about his adventures, for example: how he rose through the ranks to become Captain in the army and took big risks for high rewards in business; how he travelled the world and bought a 27ft yacht which he sailed around Holland, and how he taught himself to play the piano and he even wrote a book about his experiences so our family have a record of the life and times enjoyed by his generation. “I’ve had the most wonderful life,” he always says, “I’ve no regrets. None whatsoever.”

FullSizeRender-3Self published: my grandpa’s book. He always says ‘life’s not bad’  – it’s his way of saying ‘life is wonderful’

It must feel amazing to be able to look back at your life and know that you have achieved everything you wanted to. You must feel immense satisfaction and inner peace knowing that regardless of how scared you might have felt, or how worried you were about the impact of your choices, you were brave enough to follow your dreams and live the life you imagined.

As John Lennon puts it: “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”

Fear can be a good thing – if we choose to see it that way

It doesn’t matter whether you are a first-time parent, an aspiring traveller or a seasoned athlete, every single one of us is afraid of something. Fear is a tricky emotion. It can paralyze you. It can keep you from your dreams. It can keep you small, safe and comfortable. At yet, in just the right doses, it can also be your friend.

Or fears can be our greatest source of power, our biggest motivation and our best teachers. What they need is love. Fear only grows when you let it consume you and that usually happens when we forget how helpful it is trying to be. Ultimately, fear really does want the best for us, no matter how irrational it may seem.

Embrace the four Cs

  1. Clarity: Of course it’s only natural that we want to deny, run from and ignore the things that scare us, but the first step in dealing with fear is to recognize that it is inevitable. Keep a clear and objective mind and it is possible to move through fear and overcome it. Just stay focused on what you want to achieve, and what you’re doing to get there.
  2. Choice: when you choose to make friends with fear you open yourself up to a whole new world of possibility. Think about all the fantastic opportunities that could come your way if you can find the courage to expand your horizons.
  3. Confidence: it may take a huge amount of strength, but when it comes to facing your fears it helps to be in the know. Preparing in advance – whether it be with information, physical training, psychological help and support, or by improving your skills or level of experience – will help you keep your cool and maintain a sense of control when the going gets tough.
  4. Character building: remember that we can only grow if we have the courage to challenge ourselves. When we face our fears we become better versions of ourselves.

As you face your fears and increase your freedom and happiness by allowing your dreams to become a reality, the good life is inevitable. So ask yourself this: what would I do today, if I were brave?

Need more inspiration? We love these books about bravery…

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Almost fearless

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This is a guest post by adventurer, author and motivational speaker Alastair Humphreys. Find out more about Alastair here.

Alastair Humphreys

“O wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, that has such people in’t!” ~ William Shakespeare

It’s good to be almost fearless.

Many of the things that used to really frighten me don’t bother me at all anymore.

Most of us have been brought up, very sensibly, to worry a lot. Here are some of the issues that we like to have a good worry about:

  • Career progression
  • Earning as much money as our friends
  • Getting a decent Christmas bonus (a mixture of the two points above)
  • What people think about us
  • Wearing stylish clothes

In recent years I have not worried about any of these. (Those who know me will say I never paid much heed to the last one!). And the funny thing is that the less I care, the more I just concentrate on following my own path, doing what I care about and am passionate about, the more money I earn and the curve of my “career” progression steepens.

I’m aware that my “career” is an odd one, hence the quote marks. But the point is that by consciously choosing not to worry about all the things I was supposed to be worrying about, a lot of them simply slipped away. They didn’t really matter to me.

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Christmas for free! Join our experiment in giving and receiving

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Image credit BHS

Image credit: BHS

It’s Beth here, easing my way back into things after four months of maternity leave. I have so much to share with you from that time, which has seen us welcome a new baby into the world, move house and work on some exciting plans, but I’ll save all that for the coming weeks (once I have caught up on some sleep…)

For now I want to say a huge thank you for all your kind words when Maia arrived. She is an angel baby who has melted our hearts.

I also want to invite you to be part of an experiment.

To Mr K’s dismay, the Christmas carols went on today. I know it’s only November, but I love Christmas, and in my eyes the longer I can eat mince pies, listen to ‘Silent night’ and dream of snow the better. I have been talking to members of my family about this Christmas, trying to find ways to make it special without spending a fortune. Besides the seasonal celebrations we have four birthdays and two wedding anniversaries in our immediate family, and December becomes a never-ending stream of gift exchanges. My sister-in-law suggested we give each other ‘free presents’, and I loved the idea at once.

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Why meditation can help you do more of what you love

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Meditation is an ancient practice that encourages us to take responsibility for our own state of mind, and change it for the better, in order in order to transform ourselves and experience inner peace in the midst of worldly chaos.

Meditation brings many benefits. As well as helping us to relax and de-stress, it can boost concentration, increase self-awareness, improve health and wellbeing, slow the ageing process, and make us feel happier. It can also help us figure out answers to questions or decide which path to take whenever we find ourselves at a crossroads in life; something that happens, as if by magic, when when we open ourselves up to the universe and allow ourselves to be guided by intuition – the quiet voice within.

When we go enter deep meditation we find ourselves in a space of infinite possibilities, infinite correlation, infinite creativity, infinite imagination, and infinite power of intention. It’s from this space of freedom, clarity and inner wisdom that we gain valuable insights and discover solutions to the issues bubbling to the surface of our consciousness.

Just sit for a few minutes each day with yourself, with no distractions. See what comes up in your mind, try to quiet your mind, and then see what comes up again.

What is your inner voice saying? 

Stressed? Try slowing down

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This is a guest post by one of the UK’s leading experts in digital distraction and digital detox and author of The Distraction Trap: How to Focus in a Digital World, Frances Booth. Find out more about Frances here.

Frances Booth profile

It’s easy to get into the cycle of thinking we need to go faster, faster, faster all the time.

“It’s so slow …”, we complain, if a web page takes an extra half-second to load. “I haven’t got time for this …”, we think, tensing up, if we’re forced to wait in a queue.

We’re busy, we’re stressed, and we’ve got too much to do.

But what happens, if, instead of always trying to go faster, we consciously and deliberately slow everything down?

I’m not talking about huge changes. I’m talking about slowing things down just a fraction.

So you might take a second longer to put on your shoes before you rush out of the door, spend a moment more looking at the scenery as you walk, or consider for a few seconds the task you’re about to launch in to.

One technique that can help you slow down in this way is consciously naming (in your head) each object as you come across it. So “bowl, milk, cereal, spoon” as you have your breakfast, for example.

Of course you don’t have to carry on like this all day long. But it can be a useful technique if you need a reminder or a way to shift down a gear from rush, rush, rush mode.

By slowing things down just a tiny bit, and doing things deliberately, we can shift our awareness. We become focused in the present moment, rather than our thoughts racing ahead or repeating past events on a loop. This can calm us down.

5603681683_845729d4b2_bImage credit: Andrés Nieto Porras

Sometimes we try and go faster, faster, faster just because everyone else is.

Often it’s because we want to cram more in to each day. I’m all for productivity. But there’s such a thing as going too fast, trying to fit in too much. This can leave us overwhelmed and overloaded. We need to know how to keep a balance, and slowing down a fraction is one way to do this.

It’s when we’re most stressed and busiest that we need to step back the most. Yet the challenge arises because it’s precisely at this point that we feel like we have no time at all to stop. We feel like we literally don’t have five minutes to spare, and the smallest task added to our workload can utterly overwhelm us. In this state of mind, it can be hard to catch ourselves long enough to even realise that slowing down would help. We’re on automatic …

Sometimes we operate at top speed for too long just because we’ve become stuck in that mode.

So when we’re stressed, a few seconds here and a few seconds there of slowing down, can shift our awareness and bring us into the present moment.

It can make us wonder; why were we in such a rush?

Are you facing a big decision?

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If you are facing a big decision these articles might help:

And if you’re wondering how you can do more of what you love, or if you fancy a new adventure, why not join us for the Do What You Love e-course? Shake things up, expand your comfort zone, nurture your playful spirit and feed your creative soul. Identify your passion and make it a greater part of your every day life! Find out more and register here.

A little inspiration to help you relax

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Download a high res version to print here.

ZEN FOR TEN

Are you always rushing from one thing to the next, trying to get through your neverending to-do list, trying to outwardly multitask with confidence, whilst inside you’re wondering when the spinning plates are all going to come crashing down? Do you find yourself so busy that there doesn’t seem to be any time for the simple things these days – for laughter, and joy and conversation?

Well, I can assure you that you are not alone. Sometimes life gets so hectic we hardly have time to think, let alone dream and plan the road towards doing what you love.

As founder of Do What You Love and author of ‘Freedom Seeker: Live more. Worry less. Do what you love.’, I know as well as anyone that it can be hard to tune out the noise and listen to what we really want to offer the world.

So that’s why I’ve created ‘Zen for Ten’ – a ten day challenge to help you slow down, tune in and light up.

It will help you be more present, get quiet and focus. It will help you see more beauty. It will let you travel lighter. And it will get you on the road to doing what you love, for life.

Join me to breathe more deeply, live more slowly and appreciate life more during this special ten days. Sign up HERE, then check your inbox for all the details and get ready to begin.

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How can you make more time for yourself?

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Do you ever feel like life is running away with you? Well you’re not alone.

In our over-caffeinated, hyper-connected world it seems that living life in the fast lane is no longer a lifestyle choice, it’s the norm. As we hurry from one thing to the next, juggling family and home life with long hours at work and an endless stream of social commitments, it’s easy to be distracted by our busyness and fooled into thinking we are leading full and worthy lives. But as Henry David Thoreau said: “It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?”

“Between work, being a mum, managing the house and organising my husband I don’t get a minute to myself,” explains my friend Kirsten, 36, a university lecturer who has a two-year-old daughter. “ I’d love to bake more – and even start my own cake business – but after a long hard day I’m so tired and I end up in front of the TV or catching up with Facebook and Twitter – the time just goes.”

Sound familiar?

Busy is not inevitable

When we find ourselves feeling busy, overwhelmed and tired, it’s important to remember that being busy is a choice. We are never forced into a lifestyle of busyness. It is a decision we make. In order to become less busy we must first realise that we determine our own schedule and that we have the power to change it. After all busyness is, essentially, about misplaced priorities and it’s only when we slow down and listen to our intuition that life begins to flow again. By accepting it’s ok not to be busy, and by making sure our priorities align with our values and the contributions we’d love to offer this world, we open ourselves up to all sorts of exciting new possibilities.

FREE goodness to help you slow down, tune in and light up!

We have had a crazy few months at DWYL HQ, so we are dedicating October to quiet, reflective time. As we search for meaning in our busy lives it can be hard to relax, tune out the noise and listen to what we really want to offer the world.

If you feel like this, or you find yourself saying: “I don’t have time” more often than you’d like, please gift yourself our free resource Making Time, a 31-day experiment in carving out more time for the things you love.

You’ll learn how to look up and rediscover the small wonders out there that make you happy, one day at a time, one minute at a time. Sign up here (it’s free!) and receive one email per day for 31 days, each one providing a specific prompt to encourage you to create, connect or just have fun.

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We’d love to hear how you get on. Connect with us on Facebook or Twitter and let us know what you do with your new-found time!

The Do What You Love team

What if…?

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Making time to do the things we love is essential for our happiness and wellbeing, whether it’s strolling through the countryside, taking a long hot bath or reading the next chapter of that gripping novel.

Imagine then if you could take the thing you love most – fashion, baking, writing, gardening, painting, helping people, even walking the dog – and make a living from it. Starting your own flourishing business is a great way to turn your passion into profit.

However small or large your business, it can be a fantastic way to do what you love. To start dreaming big deep and wide about what could be possible for you in business download our free ‘What If…?’ resource. You might just surprise yourself!